If you’re a woman entrepreneur, chances are you’re engaged in a bad business romance. From being madly, passionately head over heels in love to having just a little bit of a crush, this business romance costs us time, money, and focus.
I blame Disney. And romantic comedies.
The romance goes something like this:
“One day, my prince will come …”
… and generate my leads for me.
… and close my strategy sessions for me.
… and build my sales funnel for me.
… and book my speaking gigs for me.
… and drive my book to #1 on Amazon for me.
… and put my income on auto-pilot.
Sometimes, the “prince” is, in fact, a person. A new business coach, Facebook ads manager, that new branding person or virtual assistant or event manager we hired.
But sometimes the “prince” is something more abstract, like a business model. Or a marketing method, like podcasting or webinars. Or an event we’re planning on attending where we will finally learn what we’ve been missing.
And when our prince comes … well, then, our dreams will come true, of course!
Just yesterday, I ran into a woman over lunch at a conference who spent $40,000 on a coaching program with a prominent speaker coach. Listening to her rationalize the investment, it was obvious that she thought this coach was going to somehow catapult her into success with all his “connections.” Mind you … she hadn’t even built a website yet. (Side note: The idea that a business coach would allow a wantrepreneur who has done zero implementation to invest herself at that level makes me want to throw up a little. I think it’s unethical, plain and simple.)
This coach was clearly her “prince.”
But I also run into this phenomenon amongst highly successful women entrepreneurs. Let’s face it. Sometimes we get TIRED – tired of running a team, tired of making all the decisions, tired of all that has to be done.
The thought of someone just coming along and building that automated sales funnel for us … aaaah, wouldn’t that be so nice?
If we’re in a more empowered state, our bad romance may simply look like a subtle but ongoing quest for true business love. We are looking for “it” – THE business model, THE marketing system, THE webinar content strategy that will finally, finally, turn into a long-term committed relationship. We’ll finally have figured “it” out, and we’ll be able to settle down into our happily ever after. We don’t know exactly what “it” will look like, but we just know that when our eyes meet across a crowded conference room … well, then our dreams will come true, of course!
In the meantime, we’re doing a lot of research, taking a lot of programs and classes, and taking a lot of new gadgets and gizmos for a spin. But kissing frogs can be time-consuming. And expensive.
Here’s how to call off our bad romance …
1. Remember that the ONLY thing that will create your success and make your dreams come true is YOU.
Nobody else will create your results for you. Ever. Even if you outsource a project, you are still responsible for the outcome of that project, and for your own results.
It doesn’t matter how experienced the person is that you hire … it’s your business. You are creating results THROUGH someone else’s expertise. They are not creating results FOR you. Because they can’t. Only you can create your own success.
2. Fall in love with the skills set, not the system.
Your business (and you!) are constantly growing and evolving and changing. The business model or marketing method that works for you right now may not work the same way when you try to scale it in a year or so.
While you’re never going to settle into a nice, comfortable happily ever after with a specific business model or marketing system, what you must remember is that you are developing skills that will remain with you for the rest of your life!
Dedicate yourself to becoming really, really great at lead generation, or closing sales, or creating leverage … because this will create a blissful long-term relationship that will, indeed, make your dreams come true.
There is no prince. There are no frogs, either. And one day can be today, right now … if that’s what you choose!
And if you need a quick reminder about everything that you, as a woman entrepreneur, are NOT … watch this:
Oh my goodness, Andrrea, thank you so much for writing this and for being the empowering leader and teacher you are!! This is just what I needed to kick my butt into gear! I’ve been overwhelmed and searching for my ‘prince’ for far too long. I realize now that I am a Queen, and I got this shit! A prince isn’t my answer, but owning my royalty and putting myself into my business is! 😉
Woohooo, Lexy!!! Yep, YOU are going to make it happen!! 🙂
Thank you Andrrea, I can speak from my own experience……I too need to stop looking for my PRINCE. I have stopped buying webinars and other programs to help me start a business, I need to stop the fear and build my confidence instead so that I can do what I want. I really enjoy your articles and classes, please continue them. Love and light, Wendy
Wendy … I think one of THE biggest ways women hold themselves back is thinking we 1. shouldn’t have fear and 2. have confidence. I gotta tell you the bad news. If you wait to feel “ready” … you’ll wait forever. The fear is NORMAL. The self-doubt is NORMAL. Neither goes away until you take action … in spite of the fear. You can take action without confidence. You can take action while you’re afraid. The confidence and the fearlessness comes AFTER you take action! So … just start putting your work out into the world. It will be terrifying. And that’s exactly perfect. The good news? It’s TOTALLY worth it. Because when you move forward in spite of fear, you transcend yourself. And that is what badassery is all about! 🙂
Wow! This comment is as helpful as the article ! Thanks Andrrea!
Been kicking around this very idea for a blog post for a long time; you’ve brilliantly captured what we’ve seen first hand from so many clients —- the thousands and thousands of dollars spent on the magic coach, program or thing that will turn it around suddenly. And sadly a lot of them these programs are a one-size fits all, which doesn’t always align with clients. Really enjoyed this read. Nailed it.
Always “right on time” for what’s in my face and in my way. I couldn’t imagine taking this journey without you!
Thank you Andrrea! As usual, you hit it right out of the park!
In addition, every entrepreneur should know that unless you learn to SALE your product/services, you will never be successful. This time I am so passionate about what I sale, that I am willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. I failed in other businesses because I could not get over the sale part as they were not my passion!
I have started a 3 months “start Your business from scratch” type program from you Andrrea, and I only wish I had known about it, a year ago!
You are teaching me actionable steps that work! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I now have hope! And I see results!