Detachment from the outcome is essential to manifesting what we want into our lives. Itâ€™s also probably the most difficult aspect to consciously master. Weâ€™ve decided what we want. Weâ€™ve asked for it, maybe done a little ritual or process. And now we have to let it go â€“ really, truly surrender the outcome. Itâ€™s not easy.
The saying â€œthe watched kettle never boilsâ€ absolutely applies. If weâ€™re waiting for what we want to materialize, if weâ€™re watching, if our attention is still on what weâ€™ve asked for â€¦ well, not much of anything happens. But if our attention is diverted, if we suddenly let go â€¦ poof! What weâ€™ve asked for begins to manifest.
The first few times we try to consciously manifest anything, we may barely notice that our detachment is required. It may seem like coincidence that we get what we want while weâ€™re otherwise preoccupied. Or we find that we only manifest what weâ€™re not all that attached to. Then we start catching on â€¦ and we start trying to consciously let go of the outcome. We try very hard not to watch that kettle, so that it will finally boil. We try to divert our attention. We actively work for detachment.
Hereâ€™s the problem, though. We are practicing detachment for the sake of our desired outcome. Which isnâ€™t detachment at all! In fact, by striving for detachment, weâ€™re actually now in a state of greater attachment! One might even say that weâ€™re attached to detachment.
Letâ€™s have a look at the nature of attachment. At the conscious level, we have bravely announced our intentions to the Universe, asked for assistance, and are ready and willing to detach from the outcome. Consciously, weâ€™re saying: â€œAnd so it is!â€ and letting the outcome go. Underneath that intent, however, the rest of the egoic mind is busy chanting: â€œNo, itâ€™s not! No, itâ€™s not!â€ Now we are sending out both the energy of already having what we want, and wanting what we donâ€™t already have into the Universe. The result is absolutely nothing, since the two energies cancel each other out.
In order to step out of attachment, we have to examine what we gain from remaining in a state of wanting. Make no mistake about it â€“ the egoic mind is getting something out of its state of attachment. You see, the ego has made up a really good story about why you donâ€™t yet have what you want. Letâ€™s say youâ€™d like to make more money. The egoâ€™s story may be â€œIâ€™m just not self-motivated enough to grow my business,â€ or â€œI have issues with financial abundance.â€
The ego derives a great deal of entertainment value and strength from its stories. The mind can hold endless conversations with itself about your lack of self-motivation, for example. The ego then gets a powerful emotional charge out of the stories the mind tells. These energies may not be uplifting â€“ but they serve to further feed the mind, which keeps on thinking its stories, creating more emotional charge, creating more energy. In this way, the ego strengthens itself. Part of us becomes our story.
Attachment is really our inability to let go of the story weâ€™ve created about why we donâ€™t yet have what we want. In order to consciously let go of attachment, we have to ask ourselves: â€œWhat am I getting out of NOT receiving what I want?â€ What is the story the ego has been constructing to justify our state of lack?
If your story has been that youâ€™re not self-motivated enough to grow your business, your mind may have been alternately creating thoughts of self-blame and guilt, followed by thoughts of how you donâ€™t care, anyway. Maybe thereâ€™s even a few â€œreasonsâ€ in there about how your parents never taught you discipline. Your ego has been entertaining and strengthening itself for years with these patterns.
Once you know the story, the next question is â€œWho would you be without that story?â€ What if there were nothing wrong with your level of self-motivation? What would the part of you that has been operating on self-blame and guilt do with itself? What would your ego do for entertainment? No more self-pity and self-criticism, no more self-sabotage to feed new thoughts â€¦ the ego would have to give up a part of itself and its constructed identity.
Giving up attachment would allow us to manifest what we want. But manifesting what we want would mean that we have to give up our story â€“ and that is terrifying to the ego. This is why we create attachment â€“ it is the egoâ€™s attempt to hold on to its identity.
If you manifested exactly what you wanted , every single time, your ego might have to give up the biggest story of all. It would have to give up the story that you are not 100% responsible for everything that shows up in your life. It would have to put all illusion of limitation aside, and acknowledge its own Divinity.