How To Overcome Dueling Intentions

Tug of war as two opposing businessmen rivals pulling rope as a battle to win over an opponent and a test of business strength as a competition metaphor for financial strategy power between adversaries.

When we want to increase our income, there’s one highly inconvenient Truth that we often forget. And here it is:

Change is not something we can confine or compartmentalize into just one little area of our lives, such as our income level.

If we want to change ANY of our circumstances, WE have to change. And we are whole Beings! There is no little slice of you that you can change without affecting every other aspect of your Being.

There’s absolutely no way we can confine the process of changing our vibrational state to ONLY increasing our income … but keeping other circumstances exactly the same, such as our relationships with friends and family, or how we invest our time, or our environment.

This is where a ton of people get stuck – because they are setting intentions that are vibrationally incongruent to each other!

Let’s say, for example, that you are happy with your current intimate relationship. You have a great balance with your partner – it may not always be perfect, but overall, you are happy. You don’t want your relationship to change.

But you do want to make more money. You want freedom and expansion to happen in your bank account!

Well … stagnation and expansion just don’t go together in the same experience. You can’t do both, vibrationally speaking.

You either create “freedom and expansion” across the board in your life, or you keep everything the same in your life.

Of course, the idea of doing “freedom and expansion” in a relatively happy relationship may scare the crap out of us. Because we have no idea what that might look like. In fact, we have no idea if our significant other is willing to come along for our “freedom and expansion” magic carpet ride. Nor can we drag our partner along on our magical carpet! He or she would have to get on their own carpet, headed towards the same destination as yours.

There’s a reason that most people don’t allow themselves to significantly change their income level. Drastic change means exactly that – drastic change in ALL areas of our lives. And we’d like to tell ourselves that all those changes will be positive … right?

Well, if you’re going to do “freedom and expansion” in your bank account, you’ll definitely experience more freedom and expansion everywhere else. But let’s be clear.

“Freedom and expansion” in ALL of your life circumstances may look different from what your ego wants, or what your mind expects.

You may be thoroughly attached to what your ego values, because your ego has decided that certain circumstances are part of who “you” are. For example, your ego may be attached to:

-Picking up your kids from school every day
-Eating dinner together as a family.
-Your spiritual practice.
-Your diet.
-Your weekly yoga class or Reiki share.
-Your Friday night happy hour with your colleagues.
-Your hobbies.
-Your exercise routine.

Our ego loves the labels we give ourselves. Whether we think of ourselves as a healer, a “good” mom, a vegetarian, a runner, a wife, a friend … all of these are just ways we are choosing to express ourselves into the human experience.

And none of these labels have anything to do with who we truly are.

Now, does that mean we have to give up everything we value in our lives in order to make more money?

Of course not.

But we attract more money when we step further into our Divine self-expression. For highly conscious folks, there is no other path to more income that to do more of our Divinity within our humanity.

So the real question is … is there anything in your life that you value more than your Divine self-expression?

Here’s a great exercise for you:

Ask yourself what you would NEVER give up.

I know women who would never give up picking their kids up from school every day, for example. I know someone who is completely self-identified as a runner. And I definitely know a few people who are so seriously attached to a certain way of eating – raw, vegan, vegetarian – that it’s practically their religion.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with picking up our kids from school, or being a runner, or a vegan. But when we are in attachment to who we think we are … there’s no room for greater Divine self-expression. And therefore, no room for more income.

I’ve created what I consider a pretty kick-ass lifestyle for myself. I love my homes, I love my relationship with my child, I love my work. I think making money is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Guess what? None of it is who I am! I’d go live in a cave if I thought that my Divine self-expression demanded it.

The only way to allow yourself to change everything – and if you want to increase your income, you WILL change everything – is to DETACH from everything.

Detachment is where true freedom and expansion resides.

What would you NEVER be willing to give up? Work on your willingness. I’m not saying you have to go live in a cave … but would you be willing to? Really, honestly, truly willing?  Regardless of what anyone else thinks of you?

You’ll find that the more detached you are, the more room you have in your life for your Divine self-expression … and the more abundance you will experience.

All you have to do is be willing to give up anything.  What you gain is … everything!

To your abundance,


  • Rose says:

    Great article! It does scare the crap out of me to let go of my attachments. I will begin with being mindful of what my attachments are. I don’t know what my divine expression is. This will be challenging. Thank you for this awareness.

  • Kerstin Behrend says:

    This is quite impressing! I need to think this over. But I am certainly attached to my bed, sofa and warm apartment! No living in a cave in Northern Germany! 🙂

  • Caren Hiatt says:

    Thanks for the great article. Boy am I stuck! I am in this relationship that I am not growing or getting to do my divine intentions . He is 15 years older and he promised to take care of me and I fell for the lie once again. But I have no idea how to bow out and move on. How crazy is that!
    I even bought my own house that he does not know about but I cannot break this attachment. Why do I fear so much? The only thing that comes to mind is I do not want to see him cry or get mad at me. So I remain in the desert with my love bucket empty and my soul screaming for freedom. Caren

    • Andrrea Hess says:

      Caren, you’re not really stuck – you know exactly what you want to do. You’re just not willing to do it. And the thing is … nobody can really help you but you. So here’s what I would ask: If your partner felt about the situation the way you do … would you want him to stay? Even though his “love bucket is empty” and his “soul screaming for freedom?” Would you want him to be with you if he felt that way? I doubt it. You’re not doing him any favors.

      Of course you CAN break the attachment. You just don’t want to deal with the fallout. There is always fallout. Stepping into our Divine self-expression is always highly inconvenient, for ourselves and others. That’s why most people don’t do it.

  • Tracie says:

    Thanks Andrrea! I think I would have a very hard time being without the internet, or being completely without white rice. Your article makes me think of Buddha. I’m going to try this.

    • Andrrea Hess says:

      LOL … well keep in mind that it’s not about giving stuff up. It’s about BEING WILLING to give stuff up. We don’t actually HAVE to go live in a cave. But it serves us if we are WILLING to go live in a cave, IF that’s what our Divine self-expression demands.

  • Teresa says:

    Great article again, this one really outstrips all the crap or unnecessary intertwining ‘things’ we do or need to get by, given time to correlate what we truly need with this bigger divine outlook of ourself, the crap can fall away with some true intention setting. It is expansion and freedom I desire so this article is another deep prompt for clearing the way for more creation, thank You

    • Andrrea Hess says:

      And Teresa … there’s nothing wrong with enjoying “thing,” either! Enjoying the material world is not the same as being attached to it. So please know … I’m a fan of luxury and beauty, mainly because it’s someone else’s Divine self-expression and should be respected as such. And at the same time, we can accumulate “stuff” without this saying anything about who we are …

      • Teresa says:

        Thanks Andrea, in my general term for things it was more about ‘any type of thing’ in life that we continue to do or think we need to do, from a narrow perspective not an expanded one. When I look at a bigger picture that’s divine and expandable, I feel limitless and recognise restriction of titles I have assumed was right before or defining before. Its all part of my awakening to trust the divine soul that I am – its the only way and the most pleasurable way. So its good to read your detailed articles, its a pleasure.

  • Karen says:

    Weeelllll . . . in the last two years I’ve been divested of my marriage/husband (divorce), house, dog (died), parental responsibilities (one kid, now off at college), lovers and even a few friends. With all these attachments (and self-identity crutches) stripped away I’m pretty damn liberated at the moment and not attached to much of anything! Excited to see what Divine self-expression will emerge because there’s more room than ever for it to do so, and I’m finally putting nothing above it.

    (and yes I can accept that on a soul level ? unconscious level? I deconstructed the life I’d built up for, perhaps, this very reason 😉

    • Andrrea Hess says:

      Aaah, Karen … I’m sure that’s been painful but also a huge opportunity for you!!

      • Karen says:

        Yes, of course it was when I was in the throes of change, but now getting to neutral – to the reset point between old and new, past and future. Looking so forward to the opportunity part and super excited! Actually considering a re-lo to Phoenix next year (name significance not lost on me – lol!) I’ll certainly let you know if I land in AZ as I think you’re there already. Keep up the awesome blogs and articles – they are such inspiration 🙂

  • Robyn Tucker says:

    Thanks so much for this article Andrrea. Very well timed for me. Yes I know I am willing to move to the Sunshine Coast and create my business there. I know I am willing to detach from my relationship to do this, but at the same time stay in the relationship! This relationship continues to be a work in progress. I am very grateful that my partner is willing to have this type of relationship where I am away for possibly 2 months and back for 2 months. Both of us are willing to see how it works out and trust. BUT the egoic resistance is incredible at times. I have come to the conclusion that all I can do is try it.

  • Rich Layton says:

    You know, this is where our paths diverged those many years ago. I did not feel it was acceptable to leave emotional wreckage in my wake just because my soul’s growth/expansion was slightly ahead of my spouse and others close to me. Many of these same people have more than “caught up” with me, so I’m very glad I trusted the process. I only became a parent when I knew I had the capacity to put the needs of another human being ahead of my own AND FEEL JOY as I did so versus doing it out of obligation and resentment. There has to be room for some level of compassion in the realm of Divine Self Expression or it just becomes Divine Self Absorption.

    • Andrrea Hess says:

      So here’s the beauty of Universal Law, Rich … if you make a choice for YOUR abundance, it will ALWAYS contribute abundance to the lives of ALL people involved. It will never create lack for anyone else. Mind you, it may not seem like it at first. People may not appreciate our choice for years. But your choice for abundance, or joy, or self-expression, or love will NOT create lack, or grief, or inauthenticity to someone else’s life.

      I’ll share this with you: When I left my marriage, my ex-husband was PISSED. Since then, he has actually THANKED me for making the decision for both of us. He wouldn’t ever have made it, but he has said to me it’s the best thing that ever happened to him. I knew back then what he just couldn’t see for himself. We have a better relationship now than we ever did – we were at our daughter’s gymnastics meet last weekend, and were talking to this other parent who was just in awe of how we communicate. And we are better co-parents, too!

      About a year ago, I made a rather unusual parenting decision – I’ll be honest, even I was hesitant. But energetically, it was obviously the right thing to do even though MOST people would have called it the “wrong” decision, based on social norm. The results have been nothing short of MAGICAL. My daughter is thriving and we are closer than ever. It’s amazing.

      Having said all that … it’s NEVER okay to just irresponsibly and self-indulgently walk away from the consequences of our choices. That IS indeed self-absorption. People do it all the time – they quit their jobs, thinking “the Universe” will support them, and then other people have to pick up the slack. Or they walk out of a relationship unable to support themselves and their children. Not cool. I’m ALL for responsibility. I’m just not a fan of sacrifice, lol.

      And let’s keep in mind that I talk about WILLINGNESS to give up everything. That doesn’t mean we have to! But it’s detachment that makes room for abundance.

  • I’m not attached to the little things in life. I am committed to God but I maintain Free Will and I won’t do just anything God could ask. So I’m more committed to Doing The Right Thing but this evolves through my channeled Guidance from God as my level of Light Consciousness increases. These are my guiding principles. However I have to take my family into account regardless. I’m committed to raising my children with my spouse and for this reason I couldn’t give up on my spouse. I would need to take my children’s needs into account if I was facing moving house (perhaps I couldn’t move) and the specific house would need to reflect an adequate kitchen for my spouse as cooking is her passion. I’ve been through a lot of turmoil on my journey to get to where I am now and once I get past Mercury Retrograde I will find out whether I’ve been well guided by God or hoaxed in an elaborate scheme by spirits for their amusement but some things have remained the same and I would call these attachments and they have served me well.

    Andrrea, I find your writing insightful and I use it to help me on my path. While each must choose their own path I also wonder about Divine Self Absorption in this message. For instance, would lack of attachment serve you if you were to give up your daughter just because you felt a calling of Divine Self Expression? Perhaps that would be a challenge of your own nature to choose wisely and keep your attachment? And if that should mean that your income goes down in the challenge? Money is not the only barometer of success in life although I appreciate its significance. Now perhaps the nuance here is that your relationship with your daughter would be transformed if your Divine Self Expression was guiding you to live in a cave and you would find an intriguing solution to balance the important choices in your life.

    I’m interested to hear your thoughts.

    • Andrrea Hess says:

      James, please read my response to Rich below re: responsibility.

      But also … I’m not talking about doing anything “God could ask.” God isn’t out there. WE are God. Nothing is asked of us to “serve” some “higher” Being. God isn’t up there, telling us to turn left or right, and if we’re “good” and follow orders, then we’ll get great results. And there are no “spirits” that will “hoax” you into a scheme, either. Your choices are YOURS, as are your consequences.

      Detachment serves EVERYONE in our relationships! It’s so beautiful to be able to show up, not in attachment to being a “good” mother, friend, spouse, sibling, etc., but to just show up, fully as ourselves. In the end, our Divine self-expression is THE greatest contribution we can make to lives of the people we love. Modeling Divine self-expression is, I believe, the greatest gift we can give to our children! And keep in mind … I use an extreme example to illustrate a point. I doubt that anyone’s Divine self-expression would really demand that we walk away from everything. But it’s about being WILLING.

      Try it out. See what happens. It’s all just theory until you put it into action. Truth is found in the consequences.

  • Miranda says:

    This one is hitting home in such a powerful and delicious way, Andrrea. Divinely time, per usual. Thank you. You’ve offered something meaty to chew on here and I am really appreciating it.

Leave a Reply