Dealing with Negative Emotion

Posted on January 22, 2008
Filed Under Embrace Your Highest Path and Purpose, Spiritual Development |

Have you ever found yourself in anger or fear and said to yourself: “I’m a spiritual person. Shouldn’t I be beyond feeling this way?” We want to be limitless in our compassion. We want to be kind and generous. We work so hard on our personal and spiritual development. And yet, negative emotions such as guilt or blame still seem to catch up with us. Is it realistic to think that spiritual evolution will eventually move us beyond all negative emotion? I don’t think so.

I think many people may begin a spiritual journey in a quest to leave behind difficult feelings such as fear or anger. But while we are human as well as spiritual beings, the entire spectrum of the emotional energy body remains part of our experience. This is not a bad thing. Emotion is information. The idea that some of this information is “negative” is not so much about the quality of the emotion itself, but how it is addressed.

Let’s take anger, for example. Anger can inform us that a boundary has been crossed. Anger can tell us that we’ve allowed ourselves to be victimized. This is excellent information. We can now take our anger and establish better boundaries. We can choose to stand up for ourselves. The emotion of anger has become a catalyst for positive change. This is Lightwork – to transmute negative energy and emotion into a positive outcome.

But take that same anger and leave it unacknowledged, hidden in a dark corner of our being. It sits and festers. And should we open up that dark corner, we become overwhelmed by the force of it. The emotion is like a neglected e-mail account with thousands of unchecked messages – an overload of information, some of it highly important, but obscured by mountains of spam. The force of it causes us to act badly – to say painful and mean words, to yell and shout, to slam doors and seethe in punitive silence. We quickly seek to bury that dark corner of anger, because we cannot allow ourselves to act this way. The information it contains is left unacknowledged and unheard. We do not transform this anger into anything useful or positive. This is repression rather than Lightwork. This is how a great percentage of humanity deals with negative emotion.

There is one other way to deal with this anger. Some will use anger as justification to create the same in others. They will begin feasting on their anger. Eventually, they will enjoy the anger they create in others, because it makes them feel powerful or important. Anger will become their fuel. This is Darkwork.

It is not our goal as Lightworkers to evolve beyond negative emotion. This would be impossible. I will submit to you that even Jesus was known to get angry from time to time! Feeling negative emotions has nothing to do with our spiritual evolution. How we process those negative emotions, on the other hand, has everything to do with our spiritual evolution. We are all capable of energetic alchemy. As Lightworkers, it is our goal to transmute negative emotion into positive change.

Blessings,
Andrea

Comments

13 Responses to “Dealing with Negative Emotion”

Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker on January 22nd, 2008 12:57 pm

Did you hand pick your anti-spam words? I love them. Mine was Spirit for this comment.

I feel that you are truly guided by Spirit when you write these wonderful, full of wisdom articles. I am very blessed that I found you as a fellow Lightworker.
Tuan on January 22nd, 2008 1:14 pm

Well said Andrea. I like this the best “The emotion is like a neglected e-mail account with thousands of unchecked messages”. Information overload? Absolutely.

If we don’t resolve with these emotions, ignore or suppression create stagnant in our energy body (emotional body) they call them blocks. These blocks are like ton of bricks that make us descend instead of ascending. Like you said it’s not light-work.

Thanks for posting this, there isn’t a better way to put it.
Andrea Hess on January 22nd, 2008 2:14 pm

Patricia - I did pick them … and actually forgot all about them until KL made a comment on one of the posts. Glad you like them! Thank you so much for your kind comments!

Tuan - Thank you! I think stagnant is exactly the right word. The stagnation of energies in our emotional bodies definitely will also eventually cause stagnation of our spiritual evolution, I think. Like you said, it drags us down. But the wonderful thing, of course, is that we can always, always release and transmute those energies.

Blessings,
Andrea
Michael Howard on January 22nd, 2008 6:57 pm

I’m beginning to think Andrea that you are communicating with higher sources of information because the relevancy of your posts and the timing are scary perfect!

My wife and I are in the process of moving and our house in compete disarray. There are boxes everywhere and barely enough room to sit down, and we still have two weeks!

This morning it all came to a head, our four year old daughter did not want to get ready for school and was whining non stop which led to a tension headache. I also felt like I was suffocating being in such a messy house, my wife was tired and grumpy and all the pent up frustration boiled over and we had a nasty fight before work which left me feeling anything but spiritual.

As I thought about what happened today I had some of the same thoughts you posted running through my head, I felt very negative, I was dwelling on blowing it, and wondering if I could ever overcome my temper.

As I was reading your entry I was able to work back through my morning and pinpoint some key issues that got me off on the wrong track from the time I got out of bed. I realize these things now and will be ready for them next time around.

Thank you for bringing some perspective to the issue of anger, I like the idea of taking our anger and creating better boundaries, this is definitely an area I need to grow in. Thank you for your wisdom.
KL on January 22nd, 2008 8:54 pm

Andrea,

The sentence that leapt out at me was “We’re all capable of energetic alchemy”.

Brilliant!

It hints at everything about our evolution into creators of our lives.

It highlights why some people do “bad things” - it makes them feel good because it’s all about accessing power and having control!

It also highlights why people who pride themselves on being “good people” end up with boundary issues and getting walked all over…

Emotional & energetic alchemy takes awareness, it’s standing in the gap and grabbing the emotional fuel and choosing where to direct it, instead of being swept along by it’s power and getting taken for a ride…

Love your stuff!
kirsten on January 23rd, 2008 10:15 am

Hi Andrea,

Nice article, I like the email metaphor, really makes the point clear. There is indeed a difference between motivating anger and hoarded anger that becomes toxic to self and others.

Another negative emotion that drains and hold us back is worry. I find that while I can alchemize anger to create positive change, worry is more of a challenge.

“We are all capable of energetic alchemy” would be a great tagline for this blog.
Susan on January 23rd, 2008 9:35 pm

Hi Andrea,
Your article was right on target with me. I have been working at turning any anger around into positive change and using it as information about myself while feeling a bit edgy about being angry in the first place. Thanks for the inspiring article.
Vitor - The Fractal Forest on January 24th, 2008 9:21 am

Andrea,

I have to agree with K-L, how you describe the process as alchemy totally hits the mark - transformation of energy from one state to another.
ReddyK - The Atma Jyoti Blog on January 24th, 2008 10:02 am

An excellent article, Andrea, as I have come to expect.

Too many people have the false image of a spiritual aspirant as an airy fluff-head, incapable of negativity. Rather, those who aspire to higher things aspire to mastery, and this comes through self-awareness, and making the right inner choices.

In some spiritual traditions, emotions are regarded as neutral, just “information”, as you put it, and it is up to us to develop the discernment of how to skillfully deal with it. Anger can be a blessing if it is directed toward our own shortcomings. It can supply the needed energy to get past a long-standing negative trait. Likewise, if we have to be greedy, let us direct the greed toward getting God and Realization.

The trick to mastery of our emotional nature is, as you say, alchemy – the transmutation of the lower into the higher, and this comes through constant awareness and application, which leads to mastery.
Andrea Hess on January 24th, 2008 3:22 pm

Michael - I had to smile at your story. My toddler pushes those boundaries quite often, and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten angry as often as I have since she turned two … hee hee. I used to be quite hard on myself about this. Now I just remember that my anger is teaching me how to teach her how to appropriately treat others and respect their boundaries.

KL - “energetic alchemy” seems to be the phrase that leaps out of this article at everyone! Stay tuned … I’ve got a concept brewing that just blew my mind in one of my coaching sessions today. I am learning so much from my clients’ Spirit Guides.

I love your turn of phrase “standing in the gap.” Love it. “The gap” to me is that freedom of seeing ourselves as something greater than our thoughts and emotions, and being able to “direct” them, as you say.

Kirsten - I agree, worry is an energy-zapper. But worry is really about trying to solve issues and problems that are not actually within our reach. Often the solution to worry is focusing on the here and now … not an easy trick, but it can be done!

Susan - Yes, isn’t it interesting how we can end up angry that we’re angry? Another piece of information, really … the next layer, perhaps.

Vitor - thank you! To me, this is the bit of magic we’re all so capable of. And when we transform our inner emotional landscape, we also transform our outer circumstances, because one reflects the other. We’re really all alchemists!

ReddyK - thank you, I love hearing your perspective on this! I love the idea of directing greed towards God … a redirection that suddenly makes a shortcoming serve our highest good.

Blessings,
Andrea
Liara Covert on January 24th, 2008 5:28 pm

Hi Andrea.
Your perspective is enlightening and uplifting. I love how you incorporate your humour and real life examples into your writing.

One of the lines that stands out for me is, “It is not our goal as Lightworkers to evolve beyond negative emotion.” In order to relate to and offer useful assistance to human beings, its useful to remind ourselves we are human beings as well. Sensing common experiences enables us to truly connect and empower others as we also empower and grow ourselves.
Andrea Hess on January 25th, 2008 9:25 am

Liara - Thank you! I agree with you - we need to remember that we are here to experience the fullness of being human, along with everyone else. To presume that we need to “rise above” our humanity (or, God forbid, someone else’s!) is negating our Soul’s choice to be in this incarnation to begin with, isn’t it?

In the end, the assistance we offer is the assistance we also need, I think. Is it your experience that your clients show up with the lessons you yourself most need to learn right now?

Blessings,
Andrea
Diane on January 25th, 2008 10:51 am

Andrea,

My anti-spam word was ’spirit’ and your blog, especially this post, has truely uplifted mine.
I grapple with handling my ‘negative’ emotions.
(Fear, Anger, Guilt and Worry)
As I read your post, a song began to play in my head…it took me a while to find the words…It is a song by Jewel on her 1999 CD : Joy: A Holiday Collection. The words I was searching for were:

“If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we’re all okay.
And not to worry ’cause worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these.
I won’t be made useless.
I won’t be idle with despair.
I’ll gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear.
And I am never broken.”

Reading your posts uplifts my spirit (as does Jewel’s song) and I am compelled to write my thanks to you for your posts. Keep it coming!
~Diane