How Other People’s Thoughts Affect Us
Posted on November 27, 2007
Filed Under Embrace Your Highest Path and Purpose, Spiritual Development |
We all come into contact with people from time to time who have negative thoughts and opinions of us. These thoughts may remain unspoken, or only implied. But we are still left with that slight sense of disapproval, guilt, or disappointment. We tell ourselves that we’re imagining things, or that this shouldn’t bother us. We tell ourselves that we’re immune to the opinion of others, that they don’t matter. But by brushing off or avoiding these negative reactions to others, we are actually missing out on a valuable opportunity.
One of our most basic creations are thought forms. We create positive and negative thought forms constantly, because we are always thinking. Thought takes form briefly as we invest our energy into a thought, and then dissipates as we move on to new thoughts. If we think the same thoughts over and over again, feeding them with our attention, they take on energetic substance and can eventually take up permanent residence in our energy field. We all have created many, many positive and negative thought forms about ourselves and about the people in our lives. Some are fleeting. Others are very powerful.
We react at an energetic level to the thought forms others create about us. Let’s say, for example, that we have a co-worker who thinks we’re incompetent. They are creating a negative thought form of incompetence about us. When we come into contact with their energy field, we will pick up on the energetic resonance of this thought form. The energetic
resonance of “you’re incompetent” will elicit within us a like vibration, to the extent that this vibration is present in our own
energy field. Any part of us that considers ourselves incompetent will become activated by the other person’s thought form. If we’re very unsure of ourselves, being near this person will activate the energy of incompetence to the point that it becomes detrimental to the interaction. We will truly be reduced to an incompetent mess by their thought form, because the vibration of incompetence is so strong within us already. We have, through our own resonance with “incompetence” now fed energy into the other person’s thought form of us. Their thought form of “you’re incompetent” has become strengthened, and will elicit an even stronger reaction within us in our next encounter.
If, on the other hand, we’ve never considered ourselves incompetent and are confident of our abilities, the thought form will elicit a reaction so slight that we barely notice it. It will glide right past us, and all we are left with is a sense of not being able to relate to this co-worker, of not being on the same page. We may feel puzzled at their attitude towards us, but remain largely unaffected.
Other people’s negative thoughts about us can only affect us if that negative vibration already exists within ourselves. If someone considers us irresponsible, this can only affect us to the level that we resonate with the vibration of irresponsibility. If someone thinks we’re a disappointment, this can only affect us if we already resonate with the vibration of disappointment. No-one can “make us feel” anything that isn’t already present within us.
The same is true for positive thought forms as well. A person can think of us as loving and intelligent. But unless we already resonate with those energies, these positive thought forms will pass us by. If, however, we think of ourselves loving and intelligent already, a person who creates such positive thought forms about us can very powerfully elicit those vibrations within us.
Every person that “makes us feel” anything, negative or positive, is an opportunity to learn how we feel about ourselves. Whether they bring out the worst in us, or the best in us, each person serves as a mirror of our relationship with ourselves. One of my teachers once said “When people push our buttons, it is our job to address the buttons.” The first step is to acknowledge that our buttons are our responsibility. Taking ownership of every energetic quality within us, positive or
negative, is the first step to building a strong and loving relationship with ourselves.
Over the next few days, notice how you react to the people in your life. When you hang up the phone after speaking with your mother or best friend, how do you feel? When you have a meeting with your boss or co-worker, what is your reaction? Take every encounter as an opportunity to explore the energetic qualities that resonate within you.
How do we resolve or diminish the negative energetic qualities within us? How do we address our “buttons?” Stay tuned - I’ll be posting another article on this later this week!
Blessings,
Andrea
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14 Responses to “How Other People’s Thoughts Affect Us”
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Develop Your Intuition!
You can also ground yourself and use Reiki to tune into higher vibrations and release negativity. Reiki can also protect your energy field from others.
It’s good to be aware of others negative thoughts toward you, but then if you spend too much time thinking about it, the easier it can be to let that energy bring you down. You should be aware of it, but don’t ponder on it.. only be aware for enough time to give yourself positive intent to feel good.
And that’s my spiritual comment…
As for my Italian macho comment, if someone thinks bad of me.. they can go F*** themselves.
LOL
Hello Andrea,
Ohhhh my, I just about hung on every word
as I read through your post.
Soaking in the message. I felt my body
tense, and my eyes squinting to the screen absorbing your words. Then sighed
at the end. and thought… WOW.
Then I go on and read Rob’s comment…
and his ending… was EXACTLY what
I needed see at that moment.!!!
To both of you… ~THANK YOU~
xo xo
Deb
Hi Rob,
Thanks for your comment - and owning the Italian macho within!!!
I like the idea of using Reiki as a way to tune in to higher vibrations, but I’m going more into the direction where we do not need to protect ourselves from negativity at all … because it simply won’t strike a cord within us.
I think our general tendency is to move away from negativity as fast as we can, without allowing it to inform us … which is its function, after all. Anyway, I’ll expand on this in my next post.
Deb - so glad this resonated with you! And Rob’s comment, too!
Blessings,
Andrea
Rob - Great comments. I loved that you mentioned Reiki. Andrea was actually involved indirecly with my first Reiki session in Sedona but now I am attuned and use Reiki regularly myself and share with others. I recommend it highly.
I recently had an occasion where someone left me feeling badly. It wasn’t what he said but what he didn’t say that hurt. After a few days (ok, weeks) I thought: I can allow this person to “make me feel” this way or I can choose to feel differently. I can choose! So, I decided to buck up and get over it. That simple. I’m a cool person and if they don’t like me, that’s their loss.
I laughed when I saw your Italian comment. LOVED IT! I just finished emailing some friends some Italian jokes (I’m 100% and allowed to poke fun of myself, so I am told).
I can’t resist (forgive me Andrea!). Here’s the joke.
Why do Italians hate Jehovah’s Witnesses?
Because Italians hate all witnesses.
Keep the blogs coming Andrea. We love you!
Hiya Andrea!! Great blog post!! I came to this realization myself about 2 years ago when I was in relationship with a man who loved to verbally attack me whenever I had my own ideas or feelings about things. It was one of the most profound healing experiences I’ve ever had! Like you said in your blog, my reactions showed me exactly where I was still uncertain or unhealed, and that’s where I put my attention. I feel more whole now than I ever have!
Very powerful, potentially empowering information. This is my first time here, first blog read and I’m excited to read more. Thanks
Dear Andrea,
Thank you so much for your highly perceptive article. Myself for one I often come across people holding negative thought patterns and many a time fell from the high vibrations of unconditional love and reverence and been dragged their way. This was and still is to some extent one of my spiritual problems… Your thoughts will surely help along the way. Bright blessings of Love to you and yours.//George
Andrea - thank you for such a wonderful explanation of what’s happening at the energy level during interactions with others. I’ve often heard these concepts explained psychologically (eg Jung’s shadow) and I now have a new layer to add to my understanding.
I have a phone call to make that I’ve been putting off… I think I’ll use this “as an opportunity to explore the energetic qualities that resonate within [me]” and be grateful for what the other person can teach me!
Wow, I really needed this article. I’ve been mentally stuck after a relationship ended due to the people in his life rejecting me. It was hard having people believe I was a bad person. And now I’m scared about the possibility of crossing paths with them in that they’ll think ill of me more, and later gloat on how it’s good that they broke up the relationship.
Seeing that all that negativity parallels my areas of low self esteem is helpful. Now I just need to figure out how to break free of thought patterns that I’ve ruminated on for so long, that those mental pathways are strong and difficult to break. I really don’t want to keep thinking about it all the time.
Hi Andrea,
Thank you- this is so true. For 10 months on a job I had the very experience of incomptence that you speak of. I was aware that I couldn’t do anything right in front of the person I worked for. Eventually I was let go. I’d never been fired before, but it was such a relief! She represented an authority figure from my childhood who keeps appearing in my adult life. When I began to work for her, I knew “Here’s _____ again!” In retrospect, I see ways in which she actually physically sabotaged my efforts to do the job to the best of my capablility. Something in her did not want to see me succeed. Your concept of something in me resonating with the thought form of ‘not good enough’ or ‘incompetent’ is an angle I hadn’t quite realized. This idea of incomptence is a LIE I believed from early childhood. It’s time to let that go. I’m sure I’ll get another chance! :-0
And when I do, I’ll remember the wisdom of “Go F*** yourself!!” Aaah, the power of words…!
Leilah
Hello Andrea,
I had shared this post from my blog
privately to one of your the folks who
made a comment. I am no way any
kind of an expert, but….
I thought my idea of mental tapes might
be useful to someone else.
I ended a verbally abusive marriage of
16 years.
I constantly HEARD his voice. It was hearing
his words over and over that prompted me to think of it in this way.. that his words were only a tape I had choose to let play.
I even heard my ex’s words AFTER I was
happily remarried.
Funny when I look back on it, I made this
post in a time before “The Secret” hit it big.
And the law of attraction is something that
folks have talked about way before that
event.
xo xo
Deb
“““““““““““““““““
http://deb_inside.typepad.com/deb_inside/2006/08/mental_tapes_an.html
Christa - well, I know firsthand that you ARE a cool person, so I guess the Italian reaction applies!
Lee - Wow, what an amazing thing, to be able to see your experience as an opportunity to heal. That’s a wonderful and empowered perspective to hold - thank you so much for sharing it here. I’m so glad you came across this blog, and look forward to your adding to our discussions in the future!
George - thank you! And I think we all face that challenge. It’s so easy to hold a high and loving vibration when everyone around us is positive - but to uphold it when we’re around negative people is a whole other ballpark. Stay tuned for the next article, I have some ideas …
Mags - thank you for the way you put that comment, the “energy level” of interactions with others. Energy does indeed go bouncing around between people … if it finds a matching resonance, it becomes augmented and louder, if not, it simply loses strength and dissipates. Do let us know what happened on the phone call!
Talia - what a courageous and insightful recognition. Awareness is half the battle, really. Whatever we become conscious of loses much of its hold over us.
Leilah - isn’t it amazing how these energies can escalate between two people? Good for you to recognize that there is a lie within about incompetence that fed into the situation.
Deb - thanks so much for sharing your article. I know you had copied the entire thing here, but I found it on your blog and turned it into a link instead. It adds to the link love, too - since I follow
Blessings,
Andrea
[...] my last article, we discussed how other people’s negative thoughts affect us. We have a negative response to someone in our lives. Let’s say they “make us [...]
What can I say, Andi? You’ve put it brilliantly once again. I’ve always been looking for quality information on the vibrations of our thoughts, but couldn’t find many authors who could write about it without going off too deeply into rigid beliefs or philosophies.
Cheers,
Albert | UrbanMonk.Net
Modern personal development, entwined with ancient spirituality.
Albert - thank you so very much for your kind words! If you’ve never checked it out, you might look into David Hawkins’ “Power vs. Force” - he has some great stuff to say about “calibrating” energetic qualities and such. Some of it is perhaps a little dogmatic, but I think the overall frame of reference has value.
Blessings,
Andrea