The Inner Game of Judgment
Posted on November 18, 2007
Filed Under Embrace Your Highest Path and Purpose |
I had a remarkably bad time in yoga class yesterday. It was a class that was new to me, and I just didn’t like the instructor. Her sequences were badly organized and she went into advanced postures without preparation. She invited us to take care of ourselves and do what we needed, but would point out what we were doing to the rest of the class if we didn’t follow her sequence. I felt picked on a number of times. And lastly, she was showing off! How many yoga teachers actually exclaim “Ta-dah!!!” when they demonstrate a pose?
Lots and lots of judgment in the above paragraph, right? And this, far more than the (in)competence of the teacher, is why the class became such an aggravating experience for me. I was annoyed at myself for being so judgmental. My ego came up with a whole new strategy of gaining my attention. “You should be beyond this. You should be able to let it go and just focus inward. Your yoga experience shouldn’t be dependent on the quality of the teacher.” Should, should, should. Here I was in yoga class, judging myself for being so judgmental. Which, by the way, I noticed. And then I became judgmental of being so judgmental of being so judgmental of the teacher. And so it went.
By the time I got home, I was able to see the humor in the situation. And the lesson, which I believe is ongoing not just for myself, but just about everyone who is working on transcending judgment. The mind is going to try and rope us into its game. It’s going to entice us to buy into the importance of our thoughts. In this case, my mind had me thoroughly convinced that the judgment going on in my thoughts had something to do with who I am.
Thoughts are just thoughts. They are not who we are, unless we allow them to define us.
Here are some strategies to disconnect from the inner game of judgment:
Turn the judgmental voice in your head into a cartoon character. Create the most improbable, ridiculous character you can think of. For example, I could have thought of a cartoon version of a stereotypical swami-type, with a “Yoga Police” badge, made him about two inches tall and beating his chest with self-importance. This exercise makes the judgmental voice lose all credibility! By assigning the voice to a “character” in our head, it’s also a lot easier to stop identifying it as “us.”
Give the judgmental voice in your head a soundtrack. Preferably a well-known show tune. Imagine mentally singing a tirade about a yoga teacher to “The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Music.” You’ll be so busy thinking up ways to make the words fit and rhyme that the sentiment of judgment loses all punch. Or you’ll come up with a really funny song you can entertain your friends with.
Turn the voice into a parody of itself. If you feel especially self-righteous and preachy, for example (and who hasn’t!), you can turn the inner voice into a big, booming “voice of God” that issues loud commandments. Or imagine the voice after it has inhaled some helium. The point here is that it is no longer “your” voice. It’s a ridiculous voice that has nothing to do with who you are.
Next week, I’m going back to the same yoga class. Obviously, I have to learn from this particular teacher.
How do you get yourself out of judgment? Leave a comment and share!
Blessings,
Andrea
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8 Responses to “The Inner Game of Judgment”
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Hey Andrea,
Had to laugh at this post, as I have had the exact same experience myself - being in a yoga class with a teacher who was not… what I wanted to experience, so judging, and then being upset that I was judging.
One method I use to turn around this train of thought is to become inquisitive… so when the mind says “I can’t believe she’s doing that asana now!”, I switch over to “Hmmm, I wonder why she chooses to move into that asana now?”
This switch from judgment to curiousity helps me move into acceptance and just being.
Although that said, I have walked out of a yoga class when the teacher sequenced asanas in a way that I knew would be injurious for my body.
I have a very dear friend who a year ago I couldn’t stand her. I was very judgmental thinking she didn’t have a mind of her own and she would follow this other person if they jumped off of a bridge and drowned. I made all kinds of unkind judgments about her.
How we became friends happened when I took a Kabbalah class that she was teaching. I decided to look beyond my judgments and see what kind of person she really was. I didn’t know. All I had were my judgments about her that came from one statement that she made to someone else about 5 years ago during a painful situation that I found myself in. The painful situation ended and I forgave everyone but the above mentioned friend. All of my anger was still being focused on her.
One day, I decided I was being rediculous. This person wasn’t even a major player in the painful situation. I took her class and finally got to know her and discovered a gem of a person.
Recently, I told my friend about my process of playing all of my resentments on her for the painful situation and how glad that I was that I recognised and released all of that resentment and took the time to get to know her. Each time that I see her we laugh and discover something new that we like about each other.
Hey KL, that is a great suggestion. Switching from “I know” mode to “I don’t know anything show me” mode works both way, either I learn something new or I just learn not to do that thing you just showed me. That should take care of the judgemental mind in my opinion.
What I always do is to remember “My way is not the only way”.
Hi Andrea, interesting topic to have a discussion!
I think we all fall into this trap very often. It’s like our inner wiring, we just make snap judgments all the time! Just can’t help it.
You right though. We can certainly manage it, and I like the way you used humor to do it.
I like to approach it similar to KL and Patricia: ask myself what do I really know about the thing that I’m putting a judgment on. Most of the time, this change in perspective puts me in a very humbling position.
Being humble, I feel that I am in no better position to impose such a judgment. As such, I start to give the situation the benefit of the doubt and try to look out for a learning value of of the experience.
I think that just recognising and acknowledging to ourselves that we are judging is 3/4 of the battle to regaining our peace.
When we judge and are critical, but don’t realise it, we get into trouble and that is when we let negativity nag away at us and perpetuate those feelings.
Judging is just something we do by sheer force of habit! But by recognizing it for what it is (usually pretty petty stuff huh?), enables us to let any limiting feelings fall away and not promote negative space.
I use the KISS principal!
I agree, recognizing judgment is the first step. For me, apparently, not judging the judgment is the second …
We do judge, it’s what the mind does! To some extent, it’s a necessary function. As long as we don’t identify with all that “petty stuff,” the thoughts will dissipate as soon as we recognize them.
Blessings,
Andrea
Remember, also, that there is a difference between judgment and discernment. Discernment is simply seeing a situation or person as they are without the emotions that you find with judgment.
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