About Self-Acceptance

Posted on October 18, 2007
Filed Under Embrace Your Highest Path and Purpose, Spiritual Development |

Self-acceptance means to have a loving relationship with ourselves in the present moment. It means releasing ourselves of judgment, and embracing all of who we are right now – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? Self-acceptance is so inviting that we can easily rush the process. We embrace positive self-talk. “My financial situation is horrible, but I completely love and accept myself! Truly, I’m okay just the way I am, even though I know there are things I want to change about myself.” A few hundred affirmations later, we’ve sailed past self-acceptance, into denial and complacency.

We cannot accept within ourselves what we have not first examined and understood. We cannot simply gloss over the parts of ourselves that we are uncomfortable with, all in the name of self-acceptance. This includes both the gnarly, ugly bits of ourselves as well as the dazzling magnificence of our divinity. We must look both firmly in the eye if we are truly to move into self-acceptance. The question we must ask in order to examine ourselves without judgment is: “Is this working for me, or against me?”

True self-acceptance does not produce a dull, static “okay-ness” with ourselves. Self-acceptance is a powerful change agent that can catapult us forward on our journey of spiritual development. We can accept that our financial situation is dire. We can choose now to love and accept ourselves in spite of struggling to pay the bills. But to stop here would be to avoid examination. Can we also accept that our financial situation is not working for us? Can we accept how limited we feel, how far away from infinite abundance, and how this is affecting us in other life areas? Can we accept that we need to create something different? If we can reach that level of self-acceptance – to not only accept the circumstances, but how thoroughly they aren’t serving us – then we cannot stay where we are. The self-love that is invariably tied to self-acceptance demands positive change.

And what about accepting what is working well for us? What if we accept that we are tremendously fulfilled by a gift we have – a gift of creativity, a gift of logic or intelligence, or organizational skills. If we not only accept our gift, but also how completely and utterly that gift serves us, how can we not expand ourselves into the full magnificence of this gift?

We can accept our life circumstances, and stay in them. We can even accept who we are right now, and remain the same. But once we examine and accept that something is either working for us or against us, then change is inevitable. True self-acceptance is a catalyst for moving towards bold authenticity, and our highest path and purpose.

Blessings,
Andrea

Comments

6 Responses to “About Self-Acceptance”

K-L Masina | Be Conscious Now on October 18th, 2007 4:58 pm

Another great article Andrea that highlights the importance of going further, and deeper, to truly affect change.

It so often feels like you’re speaking directly to me!
Tuan on October 19th, 2007 8:07 am

“Self-acceptance is a powerful change agent that can catapult us forward on our journey of spiritual development”

I agree completely. Self-acceptance is very much like Surrendering. When we accept we don’t resist. When we don’t resist we flow. When we flow we create. It’s the easiest ride on our journey.

Why is it this easiest ride become so hard in our mind?

We live in the world full of competition. We were taught to compete since childhood. Walk into a supermarket we see hundreds of different brand of cereals. Walk into a department store we see thousands of items, one is cost a bit more than the other even though the look the same and function the same. Sport, music, education, media, you name it even games they are the motivators for competition.

Competition drives us away from self-acceptance. We feel lack, not enough, unsatisfied. We want this, want that because we see others have this, have that. This wanting creates our “high living standard”. This wanting creates our financial burden not even mention they boost our efforts to try harder instead of just be what we can be. And this wanting bring us down instead of make us feel fulfil, rich and satisfied.

So, my idea is kill the sense of competition will help us have self-acceptance easier.
David on October 19th, 2007 10:12 am

Once again I am reminded that you are the perfect teacher for me at this time. This subject is very much a part of the work I’m doing in my life right now. First we cleared bad energy, negative guides and vows that are no longer working. The next assault was physical clutter which cleared room for me to tackle mental clutter. I’ve been examining ego a lot lately. So far my plan of attack is to observe it in action in order to exercise some control over it as I don’t believe killing it is appropriate or even possible. I’m working toward acceptance.

This article brings me to the next phase in the clutter clearing; to examine what is working and not working in my daily life. Yet another kind of clutter. Clearing one mess just seems to bring up another, like pealing the layers of an onion.

Andrea you and I, having been exposed to vipassana meditation learned that all misery is the result of craving and aversion. Tuan, I believe this is what you are saying. If we can get to where we know at the deepest level that everything in the universe is temporary we stop craving the good things as well as forming aversions to the painful things in life. We reach an equanimous state of mind. From there self acceptance is an easy ride.
Tuan on October 19th, 2007 7:24 pm

David, the root of problems or ego in our modern day is a mile different from the ancient one. Buddhism also states that Craving is the worst nightmare. In the ancient day Craving derive from envy but today Craving has its new root which is competition. Without competition we have no desire to be better than other, therefore we can accept our position easier.

I’ve learned that ego is almost impossible to control or kill if we choose to function normally in our society. You do the right thing by examine it. Understand the root of ego is what Buddha did thousands of years ago. Even in the ancient day to control ego take great discipline and the ego in those day is quite simple. The complexity of our society today society creates a monster, how are we going to control it?

Neale Donald Walsch say “What resist persist”. Fighting or control ego makes it become stronger. What I mean stronger is the ego will transform into the Spiritual Ego this one is in fact hinder us from our journey. Examine ego help us accept it and make friend with it. Very much like controlling thought in meditation, leave thoughts alone by witnessing, thoughts will disappear sooner or later. Make friend with ego introduce Self-Acceptance. Soon ego will shrink to minimal.
David on October 20th, 2007 10:13 am

Yes Tuan, I agree. Control was an incorrect word to use. I recently read an article by osho where he talks about minimizing ego by observing it over time. Urban Monk talks about accepting ego and even befriending it as it’s main intention is to protect us. Unfortunately it too often protects us in inappropriate ways.
Andrea on October 23rd, 2007 8:08 am

Tuan and David - love the conversation you guys have going here! Tuan, I agree that competition is a problem, although it’s just one of the energies that creates separation between us. If we could just recognize that we are One, there’d be no need for competition, but also no need for anger, envy, blame, guilt … because we’d see that every time we direct those energies at another, we’re directing them at ourselves. Which brings us right back to self-acceptance!

There’s no “controlling” or, God forbid, “killing” the ego … yikes! The ego is a necessary tool for negotiating life in the third dimension. We can’t create without conscious intent, and consciousness here in this dimension is a function of the mind and the “ego.” It’s not the ego’s fault that it has run away from us. I agree with both of you … observation brings awareness, and awareness without judgment must lead to change.

I agree that craving and aversion is a little different these days … but I think the mind is going to want this and not want that (see my recent post http://www.empoweredsoul.com/blog/?p=129 rel=”nofollow”> Is judgment all bad? ) but if we don’t attach ourselves to our mind’s opinions, we remain unaffected by its shenanigans.

Thank you for sharing your insights - this is a great conversation!

Blessings,
Andrea