Spiritual Parenting and Power
Posted on February 9, 2007
Filed Under Embrace Your Highest Path and Purpose, Manifest Your Desired Outcomes, Spiritual Development |
I often feel that I live in two distinctly separate worlds. In the mornings, I am surrounded by soft music and candlelight. I spend my time in a meditative state as I access the Akashic Records. I feel the loving support of Spirit in my work. I have the opportunity for uplifting conversations with my clients. I am blessed to witness the miracle of our interconnectedness, the Universal Law of Oneness, in my work. I often finish my morning with a yoga practice on my beautiful deck, enjoying the warmth of the Arizona winter sun. Peace, serenity, and spirit abound. Then my toddler gets home from daycare. Believe me, nothing will bring you back to physical “reality” like a dirty diaper.
This weekend, in particular, my husband and I received a terrifying preview of the terrible two’s. My child is 21 months old, and her favorite words are “no” and “mine.” By Sunday afternoon, I seriously considered how much my little tyrant would fetch on Ebay. Those of you who haven’t lived with a small child probably gasp in horror at such a notion. Those of you who are parents know what I’m talking about.
So on Monday, I sat down and asked for guidance. How do I end the power struggles that make every diaper change a battle? How do I put shoes on my child without creating a tantrum?
What I received was concise, clear information around embracing the Universal Energy Stream of Divine Power in parenting. Divine Power is the Universal Energy Stream that allows us to be the conscious creators of our physical experience, through our choices and free will. It is our right as spiritual beings to make the choices of
- What we do
- What we think
- What we say
- What we feel
No-one else gets to make those choices for us. Now, should we try to “make someone” do, think, feel, or say anything, we are out of alignment with Divine Power. So, if I try to “make” my child lie down for a diaper change, or “make her” eat her peas, I am out of alignment with Divine Power, resulting in a power struggle, as she tries to assert the right to choose her own actions. Which makes perfect sense. But so how do I manage to change her diaper?
As parents, it is of course also our job to teach our children that there are consequences to their choices. So this is where it gets interesting. If my child refuses to let me change her diaper, there is a consequence. Now, I cannot impose a consequence on her. I’m still not allowed to violate her free will and free choice! What I can do, however, is exercise my own right to choose my actions. I can walk away. I can refuse to sit her on my lap until she has a clean diaper on. I can refuse to pick her up until she has a clean diaper on. These choices are all in alignment with Divine Power. All these consequences still honor her right to choose her own actions. On the other hand, if I were to give her a “time-out” at this point, I would violate her right to free will and free choice in her actions. I would be disempowering her by imposing my will on her.
On the other hand, my child equally has no right to impose her will on me, either! If I am choosing to eat a meal, check my e-mail, or cook dinner, it would not align with Divine Power for her to insist that I give her a piggy-back ride. This would interfere with my own free will and free choice. And in that situation, it is perfectly appropriate to issue a time-out. Because a time-out in this situation simply disallows her from interfering with my free will.
My free will, by the way, extends to my resources on the physical plane. That includes all my property in the physical. So, it is in alignment with Divine Power to disallow her from damaging or depleting my property or resources in any way, if that is my choice. Which is why she can’t just exercise her “free will” and bang her blocks on my glass table top. And later on, when she’s older, she can’t exercise her “free will” to have me buy her whatever toy or piece of clothing she desires.
So armed with these guidelines, I braced myself on Monday afternoon for my daughter’s homecoming from daycare. I set a firm intention to align with Divine Power by not only honoring her free will and free choice, but also my own. It has been a fascinating week! There have been almost no power struggles, and few tantrums. When she has said “no” to my requests for a diaper change (or whatever!), I reply with “okay” and walk away. Within thirty seconds, she runs after me, waving a diaper! In lots and lots of different ways, I’ve given her the ability to exercise her free will, only to find that I suddenly have a tremendously cooperative child.
But no violation of her right to free will goes unnoticed. Today, I was tired and all I wanted was for her to take her nap so I could have a few hours of peace. My babysitter has been out of town, so I’ve had lots of opportunity to practice my new principles. Even at their best, toddlers are strenuous to be around, and this afternoon I’d just about had enough. Wouldn’t you know it, as soon as I really wanted her to do something - to take her nap - that really wasn’t my choice to make for her, all cooperation flew out the window! She clearly felt the imposition of my will on her little life, and fought back as hard as she could. And I can’t really blame her. It was an amazing lesson, to learn that a misalignment with Divine Power will always end in a power struggle.
Whether you are parenting or not, you are engaged in relationships - your significant others, your parents, your friends and co-workers. Are you honoring your alignment with Divine Power? Do you ever try to “make someone” do something, think something, say something? Or, far more likely, do you disempower yourself by allowing someone else to “make you” do, think, or say what they want? Do you impose your will on others, or allow them to impose their will on your life? If so, most likely there is struggle and imbalance.
My challenge to you is to take back your alignment with Divine Power, in all your relationships. By honoring our free will, and everyone else’s, we place ourselves fully into the energy stream that allows us to be the conscious creators of our experience.
Blessings,
Andrea
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Develop Your Intuition!
wow this is fantastic, thanks so much for this. The last week I have had big troubles with changing diaper on my little one ( 20 months old). Her father has been out for a week and she has refused me to change the diaper and I tried with all sort of games to conince her that is fun but nothing worked. so in the end I have done it anyway under screaming protests which really made me feel really bad and sad in teh heart, I coudl feel that it wasn’t right but didn’t knwo what to do. so this morning I let her go without which is not great either. I will absolutely pracise your method!! thanks so much
namaste, anna