Warning: This article contains offensive language. It’s not for the faint of heart. But this is an important topic that needs to be brought to light!
Here’s the story. Two days ago, I sent out a video invitation to my new mentoring program for 2012. Frankly, I am beyond excited about it, because I was inspired with a way of delivering my program that actually would allow me to GUARANTEE my client’s financial results.
I’ve invested in plenty of high-end programs without receiving a direct financial result. And I just feel it’s time we do things differently! So here I am, thrilled and pretty darn nervous to birth my new brain child and give it life beyond my own consciousness.
Beside the mentoring applications I received (thank you, thank you! And you can still apply … so go to http://www.empoweredsoul.com/money-mentoring/ if you haven’t checked it out yet!) I also received this lovely email:
“Money hungry whore, smart idea but greedy, greedy beyond comprehension. how the fuck do i unsubscribe?
P.S – KILL YOURSELF”
Lovely, right? In the past, this type of email used to upset me – a lot! Mean emails actually used to make me cry. (Hey, I’m a psychic, and therefore sensitive.) Then I had a long conversation with my Spirit Guides when I received a similarly hateful email several months ago.
Now, my reaction to this kind of email is: “Good. It’s working.”
There is a dark underbelly to the transformational aspect of our work. If we leave it unexamined, it holds us back. So let’s haul out a big, bright shiny light and illuminate what’s going on here … because only what remains unacknowledged in the dark has power over us.
We can only serve each other as transformational catalysts if we create one very important thing: A reaction.
Without a reaction – any reaction! – there can be no transformation. A reaction is the beginning, the seed of all transformation.
Create a reaction, and you have served in the highest way possible.
When we have a reaction, we have an opportunity for new self-knowledge – what we like, what we don’t like, what makes us delighted, and what makes us uncomfortable.
Our reactions, after all, are about US … not the thing we are reacting TO.
If our reaction to someone’s offer is one of distrust, then this is about OUR lack of trust … perhaps in others, or in ourselves.
If our reaction to an investment guarantee is one of enthusiasm, then this is also about us. Perhaps it’s about a need for security, a desire for greater support, or about past investments that created no results.
If our reaction to an offer is discomfort, then this is about OUR discomfort – perhaps with marketing ourselves or selling our own services.
And if our reaction to an offer is one of anger, then this is about our anger with our own financial situation.
But every single reaction we have gives us an opportunity for greater self-knowledge.
If we’re going to serve others, we MUST evoke a reaction. This is where service begins … because certainly without creating some sort of reaction, we will never hold anyone’s interest long enough to serve them in a bigger way.
Mind you, I’m not advocating inauthentic communication for the sake of “shock value.” I believe in being impeccable with our word. Never, ever say anything that isn’t true for you – certainly not when it comes to your marketing!
Bold authenticity is creates the most reaction, anyway.
Please – stop being afraid of creating a negative reaction when you powerfully express your Truth.
Fear of a negative reaction will hold you back. It will prevent you from joyfully putting your most authentic work and value out into the world. It will have you diminish yourself for the comfort of others. And it will stop you from serving the people whose lives you are here to transform.
Perhaps the greatest, most crippling fear that exists in all of us is the fear of other people’s perception. Let’s face it – we are all dependent on each other. Only a few hundred years ago, being cast out of our community meant a life of certain struggle, if not certain death.
To this day, we remain instinctively afraid of what other people might think. And in some ways, we are right to be afraid! Because even if you come from a place of honesty and integrity with the very best of intentions, there are angry people in lack who will take their frustrations out on you by sending you vile emails. (After consuming your free content, of course. Because that’s how they got on your mailing list in the first place!)
But remember that service starts by eliciting a reaction. You can’t control the type of reaction you create. But stand in your most bold and authentic Truth, and you’re sure to create SOME sort of reaction. That’s how you serve.
To this day, after I hit the “Send” button about what is really, really near and dear to my heart, I get nervous. That’s a good thing. If we don’t get nervous after we hit “Send”, then we’re probably not being bold enough! If we don’t get nervous after we allow the world to see and judge and react to our Truth, we’re probably remaining safely in our comfort zone.
Don’t be afraid of the negative reaction. Celebrate every reaction, positive or negative, because every reaction holds a potential transformation. And then hit the “Delete” key as necessary!
To your infinite transformational power,
Andrea
Tagged with: marketing • reactions to marketing
Filed under: Marketng • Releasing Limiting Beliefs
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What a powerful response. I am going to save it to encourage myself when needed. Good for you, Andrea.
Thank you so much, Chloris!!
What a great article that came out of such a negative email. I’m really surprised though since your offer had nothing offensive, so I suppose as always, consider the source. Kudos to you Andrea for being this evolved!
Thank you, Sharon! I know, I thought it was a pretty inoffensive offer, too. But that just goes to show … people’s reactions have so little to do with our intentions. And so we might as well stop trying to manage reaction … because we can’t.
Very well said, Andrea! I think the fear of what other people think may be the hidden #1 fear of most people (supposedly it’s public speaking, but perhaps underneath that is the fear of what people will say or think if they have to speak in front of them).
I love how you’ve turned the negative response of someone into something positive for yourself. And, not just to make yourself feel good, but to acknowledge the fact that provoking or causing reaction is often a necessary step in helping a person create change in their life.
It’s an important reminder.
Thank you, Paul. I agree – I think beneath the fear of public speaking lurks the “oh God, what will they think of me” fear.
I am always glad to see your emails come through and to see your happy face!!! Thank You!
ps…have been feeling blue and really lifeless and last week picked up a penny from 1984, the year my Dan died and my life crumbled and today the anti-spam word is DAN. Hopefully this means he is telling me he is still close…
Linda, thank you! You know, you’re not the first person to comment on the weird oracular quality of my anti-spam. I’m not quite sure how that works, but it does at times seem very synchronistic, lol. Glad it served you today!!
WOW! Only a few hours ago I was thinking about what the hell we do with negative response to our marketing – and poof… I got your article in my mailbox! Thanks a lot. I have been SO nervous about sending a guest post to a new website… I will hit the send button right away!
Pull the trigger on that “Send” button, Mette!!!
Hi Andrea! Thanks for the wonderful, and plain-spoken, article. This hits the spot for me. I do know that that is MY number one fear: fear of others’ reactions and feelings. I’m working on breaking this bad habit. I hope you don’t mind if I repeatedly read this article as a reminder to myself to be authentic, to give me that push. Thank-you very much!
Fiona, thank you! Remember that you can only serve to your greatest ability from a place of authenticity … and so your authenticity is the greatest gift you can give. (Even if some people don’t like it, lol)
Hi Andrea,
Your email and salespage are both 100% correct. Do NOT let that email & profanity disturb or upset you as the sender clearly does not ‘get it’.
I have been studying and researching millionaires (and billionaires) as well as wealth creation and I feel I know what it takes to make money. Now I know this might seem to be off topic, but it isn’t. The fundamental reason WHY the wealthy get wealthy (or even if not wealthy but have a fantastic income) is due to one thing – their mindset. They (like myself) think differently than most people. The sender of that email – going by his attitude – clearly does not have that mindset and will undoubtedly NEVER ‘get it’!
They are looking at the cost and *probably* thinks you are hungry for money. That is where most people in the ‘rat race’ get it wrong. They look at the cost, and not at the value. The cost is what it will take to get the value, nothing more and nothing less. Besides, the cost of your training is much less than going to college or university and – in my opinion – is a bargain!
I would not concern yourself with the email as you are – as you said – doing something right! The sender of that email will always be in fear of money – always! As soon as a person understands HOW money really works – the way the wealthy do – you will never be in fear of money.
I will email you shortly regarding your training
Hope you are having an AMAZING day!!
Peace & blessings,
Peter
Exactly, Peter. And this type of email actually no longer affects me – for exactly the reasons you give.
Andrea,
Well said! React vs. Respond is always something to ponder before hitting “Send” and I think you have done a wonderful job with the transformation of this issue!! Clearly the person sending the email to you was reacting.
I too will be printing and saving this one as I really needed to hear it! Thanks you for empowering the rest of us with this example.
Thanks, Rebecca!!! I like the “react vs. respond” check-in. If I feel triggered, I always like to walk away from an email and come back to it a few hours later, before hitting “send.”
Beautiful! Just like you. I couldn’t agree more! I have spent the last couple of years growing thicker skin to be able to stand where you are and have dimmed down often in the process of transformation and suffered the results. Transformation isnt always pretty but working with it instead of against it is up to who is transforming not the responsibility of who is helping catalyze the transformation. When our gift is to shine light on that which is calling to be lighted that is the responsibility we claim and nothing more, we plant seeds, offer support if requested and hold space that the highest good prevails. We too are tested to our commitment just as you have passed with flying colors. Thank you for being YOU!
Awww, thank you, Susan! It does take us a while. When we shine our light, sometimes we do illuminate what’s not-so-pleasant, lol. And yes, that’s no reason to turn down the light!!!
Andrea,
Thank you for showing us how to turn around a very difficult situation for the benefit of everyone. Am so glad to have you as my “trailblazer” in the highly conscious business world. Peace and much love to you!
Thank you, Mai!!!
Your response is lovely and inspiring. PLease continue to deliver this kind of light until we can all follow your example. Civility, courtesy and kindness will never go out of style!
Thank you so much, Judy! I appreciate your support!
WOWZA! I cannot imagine ever writing (much less sending!) something like that.
You make a interesting point – when we take our authentic gifts into the light, we are bound to garner some reaction – good or not-so-good. Still, if we are to do our work, authentically, we have to know in our heart that we are on OUR right path and not let someone else’s reaction sway us.
(I still can’t get over what that person wrote! Holy cow. Just … holy cow.)
LOL, Lisa … I know, sometimes it stuns me what people will send into the ether, without consideration that there’s a real life person at the other end. The sad thing is that whatever we put “out there” does return to us. Compassion indeed.
You know you’re doing something right when you have haters. Or copycats. I think that’s a fact of life on Earth. The majority of people can’t bother to be original, creative or successful in this world but they are plenty content to hate those who are. I find it odd for a potential client to get this angry over your offering. It sounds to me this is someone who considers you business competition and is very bent out of shape that you get away with what you charge and he/she cannot.
Ling – the best part about all this is that another person’s reaction is none of our business!
But you’re totally right. There’s always going to be people who react negatively – but that’s about them, not us. At least we are eliciting reaction!
ALRIGHT!!! An affirmation to play full out. My father used to say “if you’re not getting any bad paper (meaning customers who never pay) you’re not getting all the sales you can get. I’ve addressed that by receiving payment up front. HOWEVER, Your “push the envelope” article reminds of the intention of what my dad was saying – be bold! Thank you.
Bold is right, Barbara!
Why be anything less, right?
Andrea,
I owned a door-to-door sales business years ago. What I learned is that when you are dealing with the public, you never know what moment you are catching them in. The person who sent that e-mail is experiencing some kind of harsh pain. Hurt people HURT PEOPLE. While I have no idea why that person reacted the way he/she did, it REALLY has nothing to do with you, what you wrote (despite it looking like that). When I walked away from the rare door who treated me badly, I felt compassion for the person (after I let go of my initial anger). It’s not easy, but I’d encourage you to send out an energetic hug when you get responses like that. It takes practice but in time you’ll feel so powerful when you finish reading e-mails like that. It takes a true leader to respond with compassion to anger.
Keep doing what you do,
Namaste
Namaste – I’m not sure you read my entire article, lol. That was sort of my point.
Dear Andrea,
What a light you are. Thank you for sharing and having the courage to be out there in the world of business and spirituality a potent mix. You do it well.
Thank you Thank you Thank you.
Thank you so much, Jan! I really appreciate it!!!
Thanks for the great article. You set a great example of being bold and don’t let someone push you off track with their stuff. I’m still learning to do this!
I’m sorry you had to receive such an email as that above, but what a wonderful and uplifting message it resulted in! Congratulations, too, on your incredible success – and may it continue to increase!!
I must confess, there are times when I know that what I have to say will anger people – probably people in general, lol – but after several re-writes (checking my language mostly!) and a couple proof reads by friends, I send anyway.
Since one of my main focuses happens to be politics as relates to health and food choices, its rather a baptism by fire…. SOMEBODY is going to be upset – and more often than not – its with me.
What I have found is that when I’ve done the work (both inner AND outer) to make a stand and put that out, then these comments serve in another manner also. While the original writer may no longer be around, many times comments like this solicit more explanation – not by means of excuse, but for clarity instead – and become “talking points” as they say.
Its when my inner and outer game are not on the same level that these comments bother me greatly.
I so appreciate your take on this, and the authentic love and care in your words. YOU shine through – and you shine brightly!!
Much love and many blessings
Sue
Hey Andrea!
What a neat post! I just read this after doing a lab experiment on enzymes and saw an immediate correlation. Enzymes are catalysts capable of two kinds of reactions; anabolic and catabolic. In biological systems they find solutes to bump into and speed up the tearing down or building up of materials. It seems to me that you can view yourself and your message similarly. Your truth will bump into some people and have a catabolic reaction that tears down some structure for them, and they may or may not thank you for that. In others it will create something, which it is human nature to feel more positive toward. Either way, you are doing your job as a catalyst
BTW…I absolutely love your new pic…gorgeous!
I meant “substrate” not “solute”…I think this biological system is going to bump into some melatonin and go to bed
Hey, Andrea… I love your new hairstyle and color!… You look FABULOUS!…
Thank you so much for this courageous article… I am planning on starting my own website and tribe… and you have innoculated me against the possible negative emails I may receive…
You are awesome, Andrea!…
Love,
Aurelio.
Dear Andrea,
LOVED YOUR ARTICLE! Thank you for being the courageous WAY SHOWER that you are PHENOMENAL WOMAN
Love and Blessings,
Jehanne
Hi Andrea
As I read your article I just thought how powerful you are, how connected through your spirit guides and what an amazing lady! I am so inspired by this article, you could have simply deleted it and said nothing, but your sharing of your thoughts and your example in dealing with such negativity have provided an awesome lesson for me. I am grateful.
Thank you
Diane
Hi Andrea. Sometimes this is a mean world and we can find this type of people who wants to ruin our day. Thank God there are also great people like you who can show us the shiny and beautifull aspect of life. Thank you for your teachings.
Thanks very much for a message that is both informative and empowering! I will save this and read it often. The world needs more positive messages like this. Again, thank you very much.
This is universally helpful.
I’m not conceited but as I a former model, I know I’m a pretty woman. It is very hard to use my likeness for marketing purposes because I market mostly to women. Their reactions tend to be mostly resentment towards materials with my face on them. I’m not posing and pouting; simply expressing a smile and being “me,” but it’s not accepted. I haven’t received any hatemail; I’m sorry you did. But I won’t be afraid to go forward and continue to put my presence out there, whether it’s a piece of my work or a picture of my own face.
Hmmm … I think that’s about YOUR perception, to be honest. There are lots of GORGEOUS women who market to women – just look at Ali Brown! Glad you’re moving ahead, though!
Reading this article reminds me of something I kept saying to my parents when I was just starting to work toward starting my first business “for all I care people can look at the site because they hate my pictures, they’ll still be looking”
I’ve always said I’ll stick to my guns on what I really beleive even if the price is death (and honestly caring what other people think already led me down a road to much worse fate for a time). It seems to me that if a person was told you can not care what people think and for that strugle all your life, and perhaps just die, or you can care what they think and strugle even more than if you were banished from humanity all your life, wish you were dead because of the way it effects your mind, and have alot of regrets they are likely to realize that the better deal is the one without the metal damage and regrets. Personally when I stopped caring when I started telling the people who objected to my choice most that they could shove them…I at least got the luxury of not having more regrets on top of everything else.
You are free to tell me which deal is the better deal there. Assume that there is no middle, ground no 3rd option, and there was never going to be. Having to make that choice can sure sour a person to humanity very quickly.
Dear Andrea and everyone !
What a wonderful approach to deal with the topic, and manage your sensitivity and sanity.
Creating reactions, moving or touching emotionally people is the best way to bring awareness into their lives. And therefore, serving them if they are willing to do the work for themselves.
To me, promoting arts and self-expression is a very effective way to engage with people, to get reactions !!
Thank you for speaking loudly, thank you for being you !
Best regards.