When you feel as if you’re not receiving enough from the world … whether that’s love, attention, or money, is your strategy to give more?
It’s a common and mostly unconscious strategy. We want more, and so we give what we hope to receive, hoping that the world will reciprocate. We give the love we want in relationships, hoping it’ll come back to us. We invest more work in our businesses, hoping that our prospective clients will make an equal investment.
Giving when we’re not receiving enough makes us feel as if we’re in control. We feel comfortable going after what we want. After all, we get to DO something!
However, giving more in order to receive more simply doesn’t work. Actually, it sets up a cycle of depletion that can leave us exhausted and unfulfilled.
We’ve all been taught relentlessly that “it’s better to give than to receive.” I would argue with that. If everyone is constantly giving, where does it all go? Giving is joyful – but only if what we have given is also fully received and acknowledged! If we are not willing to fully receive, we are depriving everyone in our lives of the joy of giving. I think many of us have become exceedingly comfortable with giving, while receiving is practically a lost art.
Receiving requires trust. We have put our energy out into the world, into the Universe, through thought and word and action. We must now trust that we will reap what we sow. But in order to truly receive, we have to be still for a little while. Rather than bursting forward into yet more action, into more energetic “output,” we have to be willing to be receptive, to wait a little, to see what our efforts may yield. We have done the “action” part of “attraction.” Then it’s time to see what our actions have attracted into our lives.
This is about truly tuning into the feedback mechanism of this dimension! Only by witnessing what we receive back can we come to understand the quality of what we are putting forth into the world. But if we’re constantly doing output and more output, giving and giving and giving … well, we miss the greatest learning opportunity available to us.
I think, deep down, we are terrified that what we’ve put forth so far simply isn’t good enough. We’re frightened that we’ll receive much, much less than what we want. And so we churn out more output and more still, until we are exhausted and wondering why we are tired and unfulfilled and broke.
Do your work in the world. Then be still, rest, and witness the result. Course correct as necessary –but only AFTER the cycle of giving and receiving is complete.
Blessings,
Andrea
Filed under: Embrace Your Highest Path and Purpose
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Thank you – a powerful reminder of the value of reclaiming silence in our lives. I am guilty as the next persson in always rushing around, giving and finding it hard to receive. So for today, I will step up, practice what I preah and breathe silently and gracefully through the day..there is a wonderful power in silence. Thx
I think “Love” is giving without measure. As far as loving relationships, I agree with Erich Fromm that “The fear is to commit oneself without guarantee”. If we measure what we are giving then we are not dealing with love, we are dealing with business…a completely different energy. We become traders and not givers. We will then “attract” the energy of business, not love.
So, if the cycle wasn’t complete should we stop giving?
Great post! Brings up a lot of emotional and societal baggage and expectations related to giving. I agree with you that receiving is a lost art. Seems we’re either moving too fast to be open to receiving, or are so busy with creating more output that we rarely acknowledge when we do receive.
However on the subject of giving I wonder what you think of this. I recently had a tiff with a family member over conditional vs. unconditional giving, and this relates to your comments about giving with the expectation of receiving in return. As a result, it made me think a lot about WHY we give and I believe the *intention* behind a gift is much more important than the actual gift or action of giving.
For example, when we give in order to get (recognition, love, whatever), we send out a vibe of neediness or wanting which is emotionally based in fear and lack, so what we receive is often disappointment in the form of lack of acknowledgment, thanks, or even receipt of the gift. On the other hand, when we give from sheer love and joy with NO expectations in return, ironically that’s when our gifts are usually most appreciated. Agree or disagree?
Also, what say you about the generally-accepted law of attraction idea that if you want to attract more of something, give it away? For example, if you want more money, donate or give some away? This is the generally-cited rationale behind tithing (I’m reminded of Edwene Gaines Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity book). Depending on the intention behind this kind of giving, couldn’t this also either backfire or attract what we want? After all, like attracts like.
I’d love to see you follow-up this post with a part 2 delving deeper into some of these questions around giving.
Great food for thought, Andrea! In general, I have a hard time figuring out when a cycle ends or begins. How do we know when we’re truly done with our work, whatever that may be? What does knowing when to be still to reap the fruit of our labor feel like?
Wow! This is awesome! This post is exactly what I needed and it came at the perfect time! Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is absolutely mind blowing and life changing for me. I got the message earlier this week to be willing and open to receive but this just took it to a different level for me and opened up a deeper sense of understanding so I can truly grasp this concept and master it! Thank you!
Yes!!! Now I get you. And it showed me that how I ran my life in the 80s and 90s was more aligned with this truth than the truth of having to take so much action. I used to truly believe that I would receive what it was I wanted and and had far less output than I do now.
Another timely and insightful post. I have been “forcing” myself to be more receptive and open to receiving. It takes an incredible amount of trust to let others in… much more than I anticipated. Yet another opportunity to grow. Thanks for the confirmation Andrea!
Thank You Andrea…
A great lesson to be understood and put into practice, and you’re right of course…giving and receiving is a beautiful cycle the Universe has given us for our benefit.
Your Insight is a Gift to Us…
Love & Light Dear Andrea,
Dr. Dan
This is definitely something I can relate to.
*Many, many spiritual seekers have evolved their consciousness to a very high level. But how we create our human experience must also evolve!
I am learning to let my human experience evolve creatively and it is totally new concepts at times … being the form that all this wants to come thru.. taking baby steps over here.. I do tend to do too much output, not staying still enough and trusting to receive in full.
thank-you Andrea for this wonderful reminder today!
~Jenn
Awesome! I never thought of it that way. Thanks, Andrea.
I am a giver by nature. As life goes on, however, I have learned that you must give yourself permission to receiving and not just giving all the time. This post is right on time for me. Thanks,
Nthatu – What a beautiful intention! We do indeed sometimes have to remember to be still, breathe, and receive.
Frank – Interesting comment. I don’t think “love” is something given OR received. It just IS – an infinitely available energy all of us can tap into at all times. To think that love comes from others or can be given to others is taking us out of alignment with Divine Abundance altogether.
Catherine – try it, see what happens. Witnessing the result of a new choice will tell you everything you need to know!
Karen – Love your comment. Here’s what I want to say: the very concepts of “giving” and “receiving” are third-dimensional in nature, and therefore also subject to conditionality. I mean, is it appropriate to give of our resources (time, money, etc.) if it sacrifices our own well-being? Somewhere, there’s a line, right? Hence – conditionality.
I think doing what comes to us authentically is the key, because then there is no need for attachment to a result. But for most of us, giving IS actually a strategy to elicit receiving – it doesn’t work.
Marilu – I would invite you to experiment – only you can answer that question for yourself.
Alexis & Kate – Thank you!!
Linda – you’re totally right, it does take trust. And honestly, sometimes that trust is misplaced … but that’s good information to have.
Dr. Dan – thank you!
Jenn – creating our human experience based on brand-new principles as our consciousness evolves takes lots of trust! Baby steps are awesome.
Sue – thank you
Consuela – Glad it resonated with you. I’m right there with you!
Just what I needed to know!
Great timing for me to turn out on this blog & read this post.
Thanks!
And a thought came to me after reading it:
To give & receive more (e.g. in amounts of money) you 1th need to be+feel at peace with the idea of giving & receiving more.