“Why would you want to do that?”

“Are you sure you could pull that off?”

“I don’t really see the point, but go ahead if you think it’s worth it.”

“Don’t you think you’re going a little too far?”

The beginning of any new endeavor – a new career, hobby, or spiritual practice – is a fragile little blade of grass, easily stepped on and squashed. We bravely share our goals and dreams with our loved ones, hoping for their support. Unfortunately, they may not always be as encouraging as we would like. They may regard our newfound passion with suspicion. Their words, though perhaps well-meant, can undermine our determination and confidence, and leave us feeling hurt and isolated.

How do we prevent the opinions of others from negatively affecting us? One way certainly could be to keep our new endeavor a secret. I have coached clients who have felt the need to hide their spiritual practices from their spouse or children, fearing their lack of acceptance. But this stifles our authenticity and our self-expression. It reinforces the belief that what we are doing is inappropriate. It also sweeps the real problem under the table, out of sight and mind. The real problem isn’t what other people think or say about us. The real problem is our own lack of certainty.

It is this lack of certainty, this energy of self-doubt, that makes others doubt us, also. It’s easy to blame the people in our lives for not supporting us, perhaps even for holding us back in our endeavors. The truth usually is, however, that our loved ones are merely reflecting our own discomfort back to us. They are simply mirroring our own objections, hesitations, and ambiguity.

And yet, at the beginning of any new chapter in our lives, isn’t uncertainty unavoidable? If the real issue is our own insecurity, how do we move beyond it? The good news is that we don’t have to. We may not know whether a class or workshop will bring us real value. We may not know whether our new business or website will ever make us any money. We may not know if a new spiritual practice will bring us greater peace and happiness. But we can know one thing with complete certainty. We can know the intent behind our new venture. The actual consequences of our actions may be unclear. But certainty can come with clarity and consciousness of intent.

Let’s say that we are starting our own online business. We have no idea whether it will ever make us any money. But what is this business really about? What is the intent behind its creation? Is it just to make money? What does that money represent? Is it freedom, expansion, possibility? Or maybe the business is about passion, or self-expression. Let’s say the intention behind creating the business is authentic self-expression. When we focus on our intention, whether the business thrives or fails suddenly doesn’t matter as much. We are expressing ourselves just by creating it. We know with absolute certainty that our intent is fulfilled just by launching this business!

Similarly, we may hold the intention of creating a closer relationship with our Divine Self when we begin a new spiritual practice. Or we could go on a trip abroad with the intent of expanding our horizons and our comfort zone. While the outcomes of our ventures may remain uncertain, our intent is clear.

Now imagine this conversation:

You: “I want to go to India for a month to live in an ashram.”

Your loved one: “What? Why would you want to go to India? You’ve never even been outside of this country! You would probably hate it over there.”

You: “My intent is to step way out of my comfort zone and experience something completely different.”

Your loved one: “Oh. Okay.”

Our own clarity of intent makes the opinions of others simply that – their opinion. We may not know the exact outcome of our actions. The energy of certainty, however, is on our side. When drawn to a new venture, we must first ask ourselves what we are truly after. What is the intent behind our actions? We can define this for ourselves before we share our plans with anyone. When we allow our intentions to guide our actions, goals and outcomes and uncertainty fade into the background. We attract less doubt and resistance from the people that matter most. Not only that, but by sharing our intent, we assist our loved ones in giving us the genuine support we desire.

Blessings,
Andrea

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Filed under: Embrace Your Highest Path and Purpose • Spiritual Development

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