We’ve all chosen unconsciousness from time to time. We’ve all elected to stick our heads in the sand and squeeze our eyes tightly shut, making every effort not to see what isn’t working in our lives. That way, we can comfortably keep doing what we’ve always done. Sometimes, it just seems to be easier than making a change.
The problem with this strategy is, of course, that it doesn’t work. While our head is in the sand, our unacknowledged issues have ample opportunity to bite us in the you-know-what. They begin manifesting themselves subtly at first, across such broad areas of our lives that we don’t connect the pieces of the puzzle. The root cause remains unexamined, so why should we connect the chronic minor health issue, the slow-down in business, and our sudden inability to stay organized as manifestations of the same issue? We may try to address these minor problems individually, but for every fire we seem to put out, another one pops up. Eventually, the situation deteriorates. Life suddenly isn’t working for us anymore. And we cannot – or choose not to – figure out why.
We are of course creating all of our own problems, all of our own issues. We are the Creators of our experience, after all! For example, our relationship may not be fulfilling. We are not ready to acknowledge this, and so we stay. Our lack of fulfillment may result in a sudden need to spend money we do not have, or in over-eating. Our sense of lack may result in financial difficulties. We stop going to the gym, or practicing any aspect of self-care. If we are tolerating a relationship that does not offer fulfillment, then there must be a part of us that feels we do not deserve it. But instead of addressing this scary core issue, we stay and suffer.
You may perhaps want to take a little inventory of what is working in your life – and what isn’t. Include the big irritations, the aspects of your life that just don’t seem to fit. But also write down the small mishaps that we just write off as “life happening,” the little snafus, the odd unfortunate occurrences. Remember, we create all of it for a good reason. We are trying to make ourselves aware. Our life circumstances are a perfect mirror in which we can see ourselves clearly – if we choose to see.
What is the scariest, most frightening change that you could imagine making in your life? Is it leaving your job and starting a new career? Is it ending your relationship and being on your own? Is it allowing your children to follow their own path? Is it having your wildest dreams come true? What is it that makes you shake your head and say: “I could never, ever do that!”
I’m not saying that we have to make the changes we most fear! The fear merely serves us as a valuable piece of information. Just acknowledge that it is there, that’s all. If you’re really brave, ask yourself what that fear is really about. What would it mean if you had to leave your job, your relationship, go after your dream?
Why not be proactive? Why not use our life as the mirror that it is intended to be and bring awareness to the parts of ourselves that we have kept in the dark? If we just dare to pull our head out of the sand, open our eyes and look around, we may find that we have missed not only all of our gnarly imperfections, but on all of our magnificence and Divinity as well.
Blessings,
Andrea
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Thanks for this blog Andrea! I’ve always believed that our relationships with others are a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. I’m grateful for the friendly (and not so friendly!) reminders that life sends to prompt us to take better care of ourselves.
Andrea,
The problem with your articles is that you say it so well that there is little left to comment about!
Yes, we are too prone to want to stay snug in our comfort zone. And the sad thing is that if we would only wake up, and be bold and adventurous, we would have the time of our life. Think of how people look with nostalgia about World War II. So much inconvenience at the least, and misery and suffering in many situations, yet people experienced life with so much more intensity that it left much of what remained in their life seem flat.
Andrea,
I think it’s fascinating to acknowledge how this willful unconsciousness acts as a kind of cancer, infecting our energies at a base level that may or may not play out in the exact same area as whatever-it-is.
The issue could be a draining relationship, yet the results of its negative effects may show up in our business or physical health.
Because it’s not so obvious in the area of origin — say, it’s relationships — it becomes even easier to push aside, or harder to recognize that the headaches you’re having, or your performance at work, or the growth of your business. It’s so easy to tell yourself: “My relationship doesn’t impact ____; it must be something else.” Or perhaps you find yourself trying to diagnose and address problems in multiple areas, as if they’re all totally unconnected problems with their own source or origin, and their own unique solutions…
What’s fascinating is to observe how when you act consciously on one problem area or address one fear, the changes ripple out through so many parts of your lives. This connected web of energy becomes more apparent, and we become more adept at performing as if our lives are a Whole System.
Your Challenge Questions in this post are brilliant:
What is the scariest, most frightening change that you could imagine making in your life?
What is it that makes you shake your head and say: “I could never, ever do that!”
Good article, well written discussion
Thanks,
Tejvan
Slade,
I find your comment about the ripple effect of addressing our problems fascinating. There is an effective mode of self-healing called EFT (emotional freedom technique) which you may have heard of. Those who apply it to one area of concern often find that other problems begin to disappear without deliberate attention.
Indeed, I am aware of EFT. I can recommend Richard Ross of emotionalfreedom.com as a wonderful person I personally know as a practitioner of this particular modality – Emotional Freedom Technique.
Andrea,
You’ve said it. It’s crazy, and at the same time so understandable, how we ignore what is right in front of us. I’ve seen people get sick (sometimes seriously) to avoid facing unfulfilling job or relationship. Or other kinds of crisis like getting into debt, cheating, etc. People . . . including myself . . .
It takes time and practice to get back to the original wise self I am in the core, I guess.
Hi Andrea
I really enjoy reading your blog, and all the great comments from your friends.
I really agree with taking inventory of your life. Be brutally honest. What is working, and what is not. When you take that big scary step to change the things that does not work, you will feel more alive than you could ever imagine.
It will affect you on all levels, spiritual, emotional and physical.
You will start to attract things that you only dreamt would be possible.
You reap what you saw.
Pull your head out of the sand, and start to reap what God intended for you to have.
Yes, this is a thought provoking conversation. I find the various levels of unconsciousness to be fascinating. As a frequent self-examiner I’m seldom totally unconscious, but that doesn’t mean that I’m willing and ready to face what I know I need to face.
Thus sometimes we unconsciously choose to remain in the dark and other times we are more aware of our chosen indecision. So a kind of undemonstrated confidence develops. Since we know we can end the relationship when we’re ready, we stay safely miserable much longer than any fully aware person would endure.
I also like your challenge questions. What is the scariest, most frightening change that you could imagine making in your life? Often my answer to that question is to face the inevitable much sooner than I feel ready to.
VM – Thank you! I agree 100% that our relationships mirror our relationship with ourselves – and with Creator – perfectly!
ReddyK – you’re too kind (blush!). I agree that waking up allows us to live more fully – but sometimes there are also unpleasant issues to be confronted, and moving through those can seem more painful than putting up with low-level degrees of lasting suffering. I say, let’s rip of the band-aids (or the blind-folds) and get on with life! Thank you as always for your support!
Slade – Thank you so much for so beautifully illustrating what I was getting at! I agree that we cannot separate one area of our life from another – as if one issue has nothing to do with anything else – and adopt a perspective of totality and wholeness towards ourselves. Love the metaphor of a cancer that ripples throughout the system! Thank you!
Blessings,
Andrea
Another great article, and something I watch for in my own life.
One incident that has me shaking my head is that I have recently repeatedly left my phone charger behind in various locations. As I’ve been on the move a lot lately, up and down the country twice, this has often been a huge inconvenience. I’ve had to buy not one new charger, but two! And now own three!
I’m usually very organised and together, and never lose keys, wallet or my phone…
But I haven’t yet been able to figure out why I’m unconsciously leaving my charger behind everywhere…
Any thoughts?
Hi Akemi – Yes, we all choose unconsciousness – and sometimes it does lead to self-created illness (really, is there any other kind? …) and other self-destructive behavior. The ego runs rampant, rather than letting our Higher Self and inner wisdom create the changes we truly need. But ReddyK and Slade are right when they talk about modalities such as EFT, and Soul Realignment does similar things. You shift in one area … and it’s a domino effect! So sometimes big healing can occur with a small start.
Bente – Thank you! I think that taking constant inventory of what is working and what isn’t, especially in the small things, is a great way of being proactive, before these issues snowball into something larger. I’m so glad you’re commenting here and can’t wait for your new website!
Tom – You bring up a really great point. Sometimes we’re consciously choosing unconsciousness, in a kind of “I’ll deal with it later” attitude! We get the nagging little feelings of “this isn’t working” and because we know of them, we do feel comfortable putting them aside. So maybe a little bit of consciousness lulls us into a false sense of control?
Love your response to the challenge questions, too. We do like to be in charge of when we undergo the massive changes and transformations that need to happen. And, I think, if we have that little bit of consciousness, we can make that decision – as long as we do make it and not put it off forever.
KL – Great example, thank you for sharing it here! So my question would be – what else are you trying to leave behind? Or worried about leaving behind? Your cell phone is about staying in touch, but the energy may be running out of those connections you’re working to uphold. Maybe you feel that you “should” recharge (aha!) those connections, but there’s a part of you telling you it’s time to let them go?
That’s my 1 cent worth!
Thank you so much for all these wonderful comments!
Blessings,
Andrea
Life has a way of letting us be unconscious for only a short time. I write this for those of us on a spiritual path where we want to wake up. I know some people who have slept through their entire lives and don’t even realize it. I feel sad for those people because they don’t know what they are missing.
For me, consciously choosing to be unconscious many times has to do with timing. I don’t think that I am ready to deal with whatever the issue is so I stall thinking that will make the situation different or make me stronger. The reality is it does neither. Life just makes the challenges bigger to get your attention. Do you think one of these days we will wake up and be smarter about all of this?
Al-Anon teaches that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. The change doesn’t come until we change.
Patricia, you bring up a great point! We do sometimes say “not now” or “not yet,” thinking that the problem will be better to address down the road. But of course, there are good reasons the issue is coming up when it does – it comes up because it needs to be addressed now!
I’ve always loved that definition of insanity – it’s so true. I think we’re all collectively getting better at this. At least, I like to hope so!
Blessings,
Andrea
Hey Andrea,
I thought about your response to my query, and while there are connections I’m moving on from… it didn’t resonate as the reason behind my lost chargers.
But it did create that ‘a-ha’ moment that brought the unconscious into consciousness – as I now have three chargers, and two batteries, for my one cellphone, it’s like there is no excuse now for me NOT making connections with people, whether they be friends or family.
In fact, I’ve just signed up to a plan that allows unlimited phone calls between family members.
So by paying attention to my unconscious actions, I can see that I need to consciously nuture my connections to other people, especially those close to me.
Thanks for helping me understand this!
Love your blog,
KL
KL – That’s brilliant! Glad you got your “a-ha” moment … makes perfect sense that you would load up on “connectivity” in the physical sense if that’s what you most need to nurture right now.
This is just a shining example of the clues we’re given as to what we really need right now.
This topic is percolating into additional ideas in my little brain … stay tuned! Thanks for adding this great example (and the conclusion) to this discussion, I really appreciate it!
Blessings,
Andrea
Yes, FEAR, that is my big issue right now, within my relationship with my partner. I am afraid to bring up deep issues because of his silence when I do. I have made myself take my head out of the sand, yet, when I do I become obsessed with relationship and how I need to change. Which, in my opinion, is only half of the issue. So, I stick it back in for a while and just let things flow.
I guess my concern is how to know when to pull my head out, then what to do for how long, then when to rock back….. and still accomplish something. Ya know?
As I type this I am having to admit I really prefer to keep my head in when it comes to anything besides self study, because I get so easily confused when it comes to understanding the outside world. Scary place to me………
Victoria, you are bringing up something very important! Sometimes we really want things to be just OUR problem, because then we’re in charge of the issue. We can make changes, we can “fix” it. But when we’re in relationship with others, it’s not just our own problem – it belongs to our partner, too. So then we have to be brave and ask for cooperation. We have to trust that the other person will do their work, too. And sometimes we are afraid of finding out that they might be unwilling. So we take on responsibility that is only half ours.
Self-study, in many ways, can be comparatively easy, because we have access to far more information. I would invite you to learn how to dowse or create some other way to gain perspective on the energetics of situations and people. That way, you have a frame of reference to work within.
Thank you so much for this wonderful comment! I think many Lightworkers deal with this issue – we’re so willing to work on ourselves, but we can’t do it all on behalf of everyone else.
Blessings,
Andrea