The topic of detachment has been coming up over and over again recently – in my teleclasses, my coaching sessions, and my blog posts. We know that detaching from the outcome of our intentions and actions is important. It makes us more open to receive what is, rather than what our minds expect. We know that we are happier when we detach from the future and allow ourselves to dwell in the present.
But the actual practice of detachment is tricky. Even if we don’t wrap our whole identity up in the achievement of our goals, can we really stop our mind from conceiving of a preference for our future? Can we truly cease desiring a new relationship, a better job, a higher income for ourselves? And if we can, then how do we actually go about it? My Guides, thankfully, were very forthcoming with some helpful information.
Our mind is going to run off into the future. It’s going to want this or that. Unless we hide under a rock, we are forever presented with possible alternatives to our current reality – from perusing the grocery store shelves to driving past someone else’s big, beautiful house. Our mind is going to get attached to having lasagna for dinner, or to living one day in a gorgeous, big house. Our mind is going to leap ahead to a future reality that it creates based on our sensory input, and it’s going to have a good time doing so. In many ways, this is a necessary mechanism. It allows us to make dinner, for one thing (food is very important to me!). It also expands our frame of reference for what is possible. So if our mind engages in this sort of activity, then how do we still practice detachment?
Here is a technique that can immediately bring us back into the present moment and into a state of detachment when we find our mind going on its flights of fancy.
Let’s say we’re driving along the beach and see a beautiful house overlooking the ocean. Our mind now immediately pictures itself living in that house. Then it starts rearranging the interior of the house according to its preferences. It imagines the clothes in the closet, or the giant pool table in the game room. Then it leaps ahead into the lifestyle this kind of house represents to us. Before we know it, we are successful, or wealthy, or totally free of all responsibility. We are fully emotionally involved in the reality our mind has just created.
We can now bring our full focus to the emotions our thoughts have evoked within us. We can allow ourselves to feel the success, the wealth, the freedom. We can witness the amazing energy we have created and take ownership of it - in the present. The feeling is ours, right now. It’s not dependent on our living in a big beach house, because we are already feeling it, driving along in our crappy car towards a Motel 6.
Bringing focus to what we are feeling as a result of our thoughts lets us know that we already have exactly what we want. After all, having a beach house is not about the beach house itself. It’s about how having that beach house might make us feel. And that’s already available to us, right here and right now. When we recognize this, do we still have an attachment to the beach house itself? Probably not. After all, we’re already experiencing what we are really after – the energies of success, wealth, and freedom.
If we allow ourselves to take ownership of these energies in the present, to truly enjoy them, embrace them, and recognize that they are not dependent on any particular outcome, then we have created detachment. Better than that, we now are living in an energetic state that attracts – you guessed it – success, wealth, and freedom. And who knows? One day, that might look like a beach house. Or not. It really doesn’t matter anymore, does it?
Blessings,
Andrea
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Tagged with: detachment • law of attraction • Manifest Your Desired Outcomes • Spiritual Development
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Hey Andrea!
You really hit the nail on the head here. What we really want are the feelings and we can experience them without the things and of course when we do we are the perfect match for those things…but it means something different to us because the fulfillment originates from within rather than without!
Seems like detachment is coming up for all of us lately as I have noticed you and Slade both blogging about it and now I have a really funny story that I’m working on in which is also the focus that I feel compelled to share…things comes in waves…must be a necessary universal focus at present
Much love,
PK
Wow, this is the best one among all that I’ve have read from your blogs so far. Thanks so much, that technique is awesome.
Thanks for this blog Andrea! I do have a question…what about when your mind is attached to a negative future outcome?
Daydreams are such a major component of manifesting! It’s another reason why other people’s stories are so valuable to us — it allows us to feel — experience at the level of the heart — another possible reality.
This is kind of the inverse of “worrying.”
Imagination >>> Stories >>> Emotions
These emotions are the most important component of creative reality!
As always, Andrea, your hypothetical, possible scenarios are very practical and well-grounded. You have a great talent for using personal stories to facilitate very complex and arcane subjects.
PK – I’ve noticed that the same theme pops up on various blogs, all at the same time. We’re all subject to Universal energies, right? I think 2008 is going to be a pretty wild ride, and we’re very much called to get out of our own way. What do you think?
Tuan – Thank you so much! I’m so glad this resonated with you.
VM – That is such an excellent question! I would actually think that if we really allowed ourselves to tap into how we feel when we’re “awfulizing”, we’d be more present to the negative energies we’re creating through those thought patterns.
I don’t really think we’d “attach” to negative future outcomes – wouldn’t we rather be fearful of them? I do know some people who really believe if they worry about the worst-case scenario, they will avoid it. I’m not sure what that’s about … it seems like the Law of Attraction would not work that way. I’m afraid I’m a hopeless “Pollyanna” who sees the positive side of things most of the time. Anyone else want to weigh in here on this?
Slade – Thank you! That means a lot, coming from you! I agree that daydreams and stories are a way to connect to another possibility – I do think that if we can imagine it, it is available to us. Otherwise we would never access that “story line” and tap into that specific energy stream. Hmm. This gets me thinking … great comment, thank you!
Blessings,
Andrea
Hehe, I had a really big “aha!” moment now while reading your post
I’ve been focusing on “being” lately – like what you were talking about… looking into what feelings lie behind the specific material things and engendering that state. A little while ago, I decided to try “being” a multi-millionaire… I thought “what would I be feeling right now if I had millions in the bank?!”. I didn’t focus on the millions themselves, but on what I would be feeling if mega-money was a given in my world (if that makes any sense to you at all?!). I was doing this thought experiment while walking along, and it took a good few minutes until things just “clicked”, and it felt like I’d entered this amazing flow of love and joy and abundance. I walked along enjoying this feeling (it was incredibly beautiful), then looked down and saw a 20 pound note
(about $40). I took it as a nice wink from the universe!
Anyway, I allowed myself to lose that feeling and am now refocusing, but I realised while reading your post that the difference between what I did that day and what I’m doing now is that I was really present that day, whereas now I’m feeling it, but with a future orientation (in that I’m trying to feel the feelings because of the future they’ll bring, not because they feel good right now) . When you said “Bringing focus to what we are feeling as a result of our thoughts lets us know that we already have exactly what we want.” it really jolted me into realising what I was doing. Thank you!
In practicing ‘The Remembrance’ I have decided to focus on the I AM. I AM, not I WAS or I WILL BE, but I AM presntly. For me personally this is a powerful way to connect with the divine presence because the name I AM pulls me away from time, I transcend it, move away from it and all that is left is the present now.
In the present now, I see many choices layed out before me, many exciting and wonderful options! The problem is, which one do I choose? These are exciting times indeed, I am definately sensing an outpouring is on the way and I’m doing everything I can to ride the crest of that way in the present now. Great post Andrea!
Mags – Perfect illustration of what I was talking about in this article. Thank you so much for sharing! When we tune in to the energy of what we want and recognize its immediate availability, that’s when we really start attracting according to that energy in a very, very literal way. Like money dropping at our feet! But you’re totally right, we can’t “fake” it and say … I’m going to tap into the energy now because I know I’ll manifest something later. Because then we’re no longer in detachment … tricky, tricky, tricky!
Michael – When many exciting and wonderful options are before us, it’s oddly easy to get totally stuck on the question you’re posing: Which one? Whenever clients come to me with that particular scenario, the answer more often than not is that it doesn’t matter! It may not seem like they lead to similar places, but they probably do. When we don’t take action, our Guides just keep presenting us with option after option … which leads to a bunch of confusion. So just pick one, take one action on that path, and see what happens. We’re allowed to change our minds, after all.
Blessings,
Andrea
Hey Andrea,
I totally agree AND I think we’re up for the challenge
Much love,
PK
Andrea,
Practicing detachment can present a challenge for me. But I have been able to cultivate it from time to time and you’re right, amazing things can happen in that space. Yet my technique to development detachment hasn’t been consistent, so this exercise is very useful. Thank you for bringing it to us!
Anti-spam word: divine. If to worry over outcomes is human, than to detach from outcomes is divine.
Andrea,
I think the key to detachment is, as you say, living attentively in the moment, not fearing or anticipating the future, or clinging or grieving over the past. Past and future are not, the eternal Present is.
Another great post. Thanks.
Great post Andrea; especially on the point of focus. Sometimes when we see it in our minds, it then becomes our reality, too. Thank you for sharing this.
Alex
I agree detachment can seem easier in theory than in practice, but that’s also an expectation. I like the idea that we can learn to take ownership of all our energies and shape them in ways that enrich our self understanding.
Kirsten – Those anti-spam words keep coming up in the comments … it seems they add to the context sometimes! You are so right – when we are in the moment, just being with what is, our own Divinity is truly available to us.
ReddyK & Alex – thank you!
Liara – you bring up an interesting point. Maybe we just think detachment is hard, because we expect it to be hard? Are we attached to detachment? Aaargh, the mind boggles … and that’s probably a good thing, since it does get in the way quite a bit with all this staying-present stuff …
Blessings,
Andrea
Andrea – just catching up with reading your posts and I like this one. I think the example Mags gave is perfect and demonstrates how when we’re able to hold the feeling it keeps us in the present moment and when we’re in the present moment we’re detached. To me, what was key is holding onto the feeling and from there you’re in a state of bliss.
Hi Pat – Glad you liked this post! So true, being present and detachment go hand in hand. There is so much joy and fulfillment available to us now – why run off into the future? That “state of bliss” is what we’re all aiming for as our permanent state of being, I think.
The big question now is – once we “get there” how do we maintain it?
Blessings,
Andrea
Detachment…
Is loving someone is such a way that you truly want the best for them… even if that means they’re not with you.
Detachment…
Is working your heart out on your blog because you want it to be a success… but not caring if it isn’t because you’ve still worked on it with all your heart
Detachment…
Is wanting future A with all your heart, but when Future B shows up instead, embracing it with all your heart because it’s right here.
My spam word for today?
Heart.
I have learned that detachment comes when we give the outcome to God. We let go of our expectations which is what is sometimes hard for me to do. When I can let go of my expectations and just go with the flow, the results are usually so much better than I could have invented or anticipated on my own. Detachment at its simplest is Let Go and Let God that I learned in Al-Anon.
This article makes me think that daydreaming is the solution or one of many ways to be and feel the “present” and not be in a world of “I was” and “I will be”. I for one is trying not to have too many “daydreaming”. I think it will drive you to somehow become “sluggish” and “trying” to feel contend with what is the presence now. I used to do daydreaming and found myself, not being persistent in pursuing something. I do enjoy your blog (this is my second comments) and this is the first time I must say that I disagree with the content of your article. Seems to me like “status quo” and you would not do anything because you have satisfied your mind by daydreaming. I hope you understand what I am trying to say (English is my second language
Hi Hera! Thanks for your comment. I actually completely agree with you – spending our time daydreaming is not productive, and I’m definitely not advocating it in this article! But when we find ourselves using our imagination (and I think all of our minds do tend to roam), paying close attention to the energy of the emotion that this is causing is the way to become present and gather valuable information about the nature of our mental activity.
There’s also a subtle difference between daydreaming and engaging our imagination, I think. Daydreaming, to me, is escapism. Using our imagination, on the other hand, can be expansive and quite productive.
What do you think?
Blessings,
Andrea