I found myself in regret yesterday. In keeping with one of my recent posts, I decided to take a good, long look and simply sit with my regret for a while, without judging myself. As it turns out, my regret didn’t last very long! As soon as I surrendered into the feeling, a very distinct image came to mind.
The image was of a girl, sitting by a river and crying. She was crying after a drop of water she wanted to drink. It looked like a delicious drop of water, but she was perhaps distracted as it passed by, and she did not drink it. And now she is very thirsty, and crying after the delicious drop of water that is now far, far away downstream. She is oblivious to the wealth of water that is right there beside her in the river, constantly renewing itself and always available to quench her thirst.
Regret is attachment to what could have been, obliterating completely all that is available right now. Every opportunity that presents itself is no more than a mere drop of water in the river. No matter how important, how delicious and life-changing that one little drop seems to be – it is just a drop. There is a whole river of opportunity at our feet at all times. And at least some of what is available right now is bound to taste just as good. It might be a different opportunity from what we imagined. But that doesn’t make it any less sweet.
The way out of regret is to connect to the energy of the opportunity we feel we have missed. That opportunity may have represented success, or love, or abundance, or self-esteem. We may, for example, feel that we missed out on the love of our life, on a happy relationship. Perhaps we acted badly, and the relationship ended. The energy of the opportunity was about a fulfilling, loving relationship. By looking backward, we inevitably neglect the relationships right in front of us. We compare the people we meet to “the one that got away.” We place our attention in the past, instead of noticing who we are with and all that they have to offer. A loving, fulfilling relationship is simply not available to us, if we’re not actually there in the present with another person. And so the regret becomes deeper and stronger, and pulls us further into the past.
Instead, we can connect to the energy of what we want – a fulfilling, loving relationship – in the present moment. We can look for the new opportunities that life will inevitably bring to us. The idea that we may have missed out on “the opportunity of a lifetime” or “the One” is deeply rooted in a mentality of lack. The river of life is not stingy. There is nothing at which we only get one single chance in this lifetime. We will draw to us opportunity after opportunity to create what we need in order to grow, learn and thrive.
Regrets can be a valuable source of information. What do you regret? What is the associated energy? How can you create that energy in your life right now? Through this simple inquiry, we can turn the energy of regret itself into an opportunity for growth.
Any regrets? Share in the comments! As a side note, I want to offer thanks to my Guides for grabbing my attention with such a cool visual analogy. Good one, team! It definitely pulled me out of the little pity-party I was throwing for myself, silly girl that I was yesterday.
Blessings,
Andrea
This article was included in the Personal Development and Happiness Carnival at The Next 45 Years. Thank you, Alex!
Filed under: Embrace Your Highest Path and Purpose • How To Develop Your Intuition • Spirit Guides and Angels • Spiritual Development
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Andrea, what beautiful imagery of the girl at the river.
I’d have to say that, on the whole, I don’t have regrets. To be sure, every now and then I’ll have a moment of remembering something that I said or did (or didn’t say or do) that I would have preferred to have been different. But, those are thankfully quite rare (and I’ll remember your imagery the next time one of those happens!) – I tend to accept what has (or hasn’t) happened as part of my journey and of getting me to where I am today (even the yucky messy bits!).
Andrea, this article was what I needed to read, right now, this moment. It fit in with my life, right now. I regret the should have, could have and missed the opportunity to speak with a man I wanted to get to know, but I was waiting for him to come and talk to me. Reading this made me realize if the opportunity strikes and you feel good about it, then do something about it and not be so shy or wait for the right moment. I see now, the regrets are a lesson for me and to learn and let God, he alone knows my needs and wants. Thank you and your guides for this knowledgeable information.
Regrets? Sure, quite a few and no doubt there will be more ahead. I accept that . What’s the alternative ? To avoid all possible future regret is to avoid life.
What I do like about this article is that it means I have a ‘tool” to deal with those inevitable future regrets as they arise, to defuse them and absorb them as part of who I am – to not let them steal my courage and energy , but to treat them briefly, kindly then put them away.
Great post Adrea with an important message. There’s a good line for the Broadway musical Rent that reinforces your point, “Forget regret, or life is your to miss.”
Thank you for sharing this.
Mags – how wonderful that you embrace the “yucky, messy bits” as a part of your perfect journey. I don’t do regret all that often, either, but every once in a while, one will sneak up … but regret is an accepted part of the journey, too. My thought is that any feeling is just information – not good, not bad. Just something that informs us.
Elena – thank you so much for sharing your story! The great thing is that another opportunity WILL come along. And your current regret beautifully prepares you for that moment!
Sally – you bring up a point I hadn’t even really considered. Sometimes it is the fear of future regret that keeps us stuck in inaction. So knowing that regret is not “bad” and can easily be dealt with can also help us courageously move forward. Thank you!!!
Alex – thank you so much for your comment! That’s an excellent quote – so true, regret robs us of the present moment.
Blessings,
Andrea
Oh, that River…
Andrea, your snapshot of Flow in this vision is particularly delicious.
Regret is yet another form of what I like to collectively refer to as the Dangers of Time-Travel. I have a little verse or mantra – wanna hear it? – here it goes:
Living for the Future
Mad at the Past
Missing the Now
For loving it last.
Slade – Great mantra!!! Yes, our minds do like to preoccupy themselves with time travel, going everywhere but the Now. Thank you for sharing this!
Blessings,
Andrea
Thank you, Andrea…an excellent reminder.
Regrets? I have had them–and undoubtedly with allow others again, but I won’t resuscitate those old ones with energy today. Kind of the “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” thing….
Many blessings to you and all you hold dear,
CG
Thankyou!
is there a correlation between regret and guilt? Hmmm….but your imagery is fantastic – I believe I have got past the regret that things with miss 17 did not work out so well….but there are more opportunities to establish a loving relationship with her ahead – I will keep my eyes open!
BRAVO! I teared reading this because for the first time in life I’m realizing what it really is to regret, realizing that it’s OK to regret and dealing/ processing with feelings of it.
I’m aware that the potential to gain from the experience rather than lose is astronomical, in comparison, but this vision via your guides REALLY put it into perspective!!
(Probably b/c I’m more of a visual learner LOL).
The vision clearly depicts the abundance that’s available in ALL situations, the many paths to travel, prosperity waiting at every end. It’s BEAUTIFUL! It’s PURE wealth!
THANK YOU for posting — and I’d like to Thank MY Guides for leading me to it!!