Like it or not, the holidays are soon upon us. If you haven’t noticed the appearance of eggnog in your grocer’s dairy case, you no doubt have become aware of the friendly gift-giving suggestions offered through television commercials. Apparently, we should start our Christmas shopping right after Halloween.Â
While I think the retail industry’s fervor is a little premature, I do consider the beginning of November a perfect time to create our holiday season through conscious intent. All too often we allow Thanksgiving to sneak up on us. Suddenly the holidays are upon us, and we do what we’ve always done. This may serve us – or not. Bringing mindfulness to the holiday season long before the hustle and bustle starts can assist us in doing away with two energies that are commonly experienced during this time of year. I’m talking, of course, about our old friends, guilt and obligation.
Are you ready to experience a guilt-free holiday season? Why not choose these holidays as a time of joyful self-expression in which you can invite the energies that most support you into your home and heart. Here are some things you might wish to consider as you consciously explore the possibilities the rest of this year holds for you:
Set your intentions early and out loud.
What do the various holidays you’ll be celebrating this year represent to you? What energetic qualities would you like to expand in your life through your festivities? If you’re celebrating with others – as most of us do – don’t keep your intentions to yourself. Tell your families and your guests what the various events mean to you. Ask them to support and join you in your intention. In this way, you help to create a powerful experience for all through shared and conscious intent.
What will support your intentions?
What will assist you in creating the energies you have assigned to your holidays? What if you could throw out every tradition, every expectation? What would your holiday look like? If everyone were ready to go along with all of your wishes, what kind of day or event would you create? You may find that there are traditions and expectations of which you would like to let go. Perhaps you don’t really want to travel. Maybe you don’t want to cook a big meal. Or maybe you want to cook elaborately, and invite a ton of friends rather than family. Maybe you don’t want to receive or give presents. What would complete authenticity look like this year?
We cannot presume to know what other people want.Â
Feeling guilty or obligated is about us, not other people. No-one is holding a gun to our heads, insisting that we make mashed potatoes from scratch, or spend two months’ worth of income on presents. Bring up a gift-free holiday, and you may find that your family responds with relief. Bring up that you don’t want to come over for Thanksgiving, and your mother may be delighted that she doesn’t have to cook. Question your assumptions about what other people want. Instead, talk to them and find out their thoughts and feelings. You may find more common ground than you expected.
Don’t spring surprises on others.Â
If you want to introduce or do away with a tradition, discuss it well before family members and guests show up at your house. Announcing that you will not travel to see family needs to be done well before the holiday season is in swing. Allow others enough time to adjust to your decisions. Given plenty of advance warning, you’ll find that loved ones are far more accommodating of your wishes.
The only person whom you can make happy is yourself.Â
You are at the center of your own experience, and only yours. If your choices may surprise or even disappoint others initially, they will get over it!  Everyone chooses for themselves whether they will have a happy holiday season or not. And that choice is completely unrelated to your decisions. If you decide not to visit your in-laws this Christmas, they will still have a happy holiday. If you decide not to invite your friends to Thanksgiving, they will do just fine. If generosity and inclusion of others comes with the strings of guilt and obligation attached, we are serving no-one, least of all ourselves.
And finally …
Imagine someone being under your roof or at your table not because they want to be there, but because they feel obligated to be there. Would you not rather have them do exactly what they want to do this holiday season? If we can extend that generosity of spirit to others, why can we not also extend it to ourselves?
It may seem early yet to think about the holidays. But by applying conscious intent to the months ahead, we can avoid allowing our time of celebration to be hijacked by our own sense of obligation. Here’s to a consciously created holiday season that truly reflects all that you are, and all that you wish to bring into your life.
Blessings,
Andrea
Filed under: Embrace Your Highest Path and Purpose • Releasing Limiting Beliefs • Spiritual Development
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Wow, Andrea – thank you! This has been on my mind lately, and I’ve certainly been letting those guilty feelings get to me. Your article is a timely blessing.
Thank you, Mags. I know, it’s amazing how this is the guilty time of year! The crazy thing is that we do it to ourselves …
Blessings,
Andrea
Hello Andrea
For the past two years my husband daughters and I have made Christmas our own by declaring it a family day and spending it how we see fit which normally involves a picnic lunch and a body of water , either the beach or the river.
As a family we decide on one item that we could all benefit from and that is our one and only Christmas present to ourselves.
We dont buy presents for the extended family nor do we expect anything from them.
This way we are celebrating what is most important to us , each other and our family unit and not a Christmas tree in sight and absolutely no guilt involved!
Robyn, that’s awesome! Thank you so much for sharing your story here. It certainly inspires me, and I’m sure it will inspire others to claim our holidays for ourselves, also.
Blessings,
Andrea
“Christmas is the season of giving†such a propaganda, the retail industry created this. Imagine there isn’t any store decorations what would we feel when Christmas comes. I guess we wouldn’t feel motivated to buy any gifts at all.
Stores decorations trigger that part in our collective consciousness that tells us to buy and buy, and if we don’t buy we feel guilty, the same with traveling or visiting. The slogan “The season of giving†creates a meaning for Christmas, it’s mean consumption. I remember when Saigon felt under the hand of Communism, the first year there isn’t any Christmas Decoration at all, decoration was forbidden. Christmas seemed disappear; you can only feel Christmas when you went by the Catholic Church that performing midnight mass. The rest of the city sounded death quiet. Year after that, the government realized how important for the economy to have Christmas so they allowed decorations. Christmas resumed that year.
So how about let’s give and celebrate all year long without waiting for Christmas or special occasions. When we give we receive that is the law of the universe. Why not doing that all year, we give the Universe enough time to fulfill what we want and we will be happy all year. There will be no expectation and no guilt, Christmas will be much less stressful since we fulfill our obligation throughout the year. Just a thought, since I declared to my family that I will not buy or receive any gifts for Christmas a long time ago.
Hi Tuan,
I like the idea of year-long Christmas … why save all the good stuff for just one time of year, right? I also admire your “no presents” rule.
Thanks as always for contributing your thoughts!
Blessings,
Andrea